AGEL So Far

4:45 am: Got picked up by a taxi, as my car is in the shop. It needed a new battery. I told them this. I took it in on Wednesday morning (well, Ginger did). When I set up the appointment, I made it clear that I needed the car back Wednesday night, as I was going out of town. I got a hold of them on Wednesday evening, but they needed more time to figure out what was wrong with it. Got a call today. They fixed it. It needed a new battery. $40 cab ride.

5:30 am: Get in security line behind a woman that starts throwing a fit because the line was so long. She hates inefficiency. The airport is so inefficient. Eugene is so inefficient. Everyone just takes their time and no one cares about efficiency. She's lived in Eugene for a week, she's from Michigan, and it just drives her crazy and she has to go to a funeral and she needs to hurry because she has a 6 am flight. She also has three carry-on bags.

5:37 am: Make it to the security gate. Michigan lady has lost her boarding pass. Thinks it's ridiculous that someone needs to check it, she obviously has it or she wouldn't be in line. Do we all think she'd stand in this line if she didn't have a plane to catch?

6:00 am: Flight leaves for Denver.

9:34 am (mountain): Flight lands in Denver. The woman and I next to me were making standard end-of-flight chit chat when we notice that there seem to be several fire trucks on our taxiing route to the airport. Pretty soon those trucks were joined by yellow Hummers with lights a-flashing. The pilot stops the plane well away from the gate and comes on the intercom to inform us that there may be a suspicious package in the cargo hold and the fire guys were going to take a look. About 30 seconds later we were told that we would be asked to deboard the plane and we were to leave all of our stuff on the plane. No personal items were to leave the plane.

I was sitting in row three and as we deplaned there were cops waiting at the bottom. We were told to go across the runway to wait by the firetrucks, but the couple in front of me and my seatmate were pulled aside. At first, I thought they were dividing us up (as some people were already by the firetruck), but no one pulled me aside, so I just walked over the firetruck.
The man was about 55-60 year-old white guy. Standard liberal academic looking type. Gray beard, wearing one of those little round hats Jey wears sometimes, black socks, Birkenstocks. You know the type. The woman was wearing all black. They were sitting next to me on the plane.

The cops talked to them for a little while, then they were put in separate Suburbans and driven off. We passengers stood by the firetruck and watched dogs go into the plane. After about 5 minutes we were told to move much further down the runway. People were calling their families and taking cell phone snaps. My phone was on the plane. People talking to their loved ones got the word that the Eugene airport had been shut down. Shortly after that, we were told to move even further away form the plane.

Eventually, they brought some buses to the tarmac. We were told we were going to be bussed to the terminal and, when they were done searching the plane, we'd eventually get our stuff, although we'd all have to be screened again. Then we were told to wait. Then we were told we could get back on the plane. As we were getting on the plane a cop was standing by the stairs. People were asking him what was going on and he kept repeating that it was all a huge misunderstanding. A huge misunderstanding. When we were all on the plane, the pilot came on the p.a. and told us that TSA in Eugene was found a lead pipe with rolls of dimes in it along with some circuit boards in professor-guy's suitcase in Eugene, but for some reason, they decided to just take the stuff out and let the guy, and his bag!, on the plane. At some point when we were in the air, TSA rethought this plan and there we were.

This news video and story provide some good info.

10:13 am (mountain): My connection to Columbus leaves without me.

11:04 am (mountain): I am behind two fine gentlemen at the United desk in the Denver airport waiting to get a new flight to Columbus. Guy #1 bought his ticket with miles. He doesn't think that he should have to use his miles for a flight like that. He wants his miles recredited. Guy #2 was flying first class. He wants a connection were he will be flying first class. He also doesn't accept that 2 pm is the earliest connection for his flight. He want the United guy to check other airlines for flights -- first class flights.

I am disappointed by this behavior, as we had handled the tarmac incident in true Eugene fashion. Nobody lost their cool, nobody threw a fit, nobody freaked out. We made jokes. We loaned each other phones. Now we were selfish pricks.

While I was waiting to get a connecting flight, one of the United employees picks up the phone and has a conversation that goes like this:

Employee: ...yeah, I'm helping them now. Getting them connecting flights. About 20. Yeah. How's customer reaction? Uh...okay. It's fine. No, no problem.

About 2 minutes later another United employee shows up and starts passing out vouchers for 20% off a future flight and a $10 food coupon. I can't help but think that if we were going nuts, we would have gotten a better deal from United.

5:34 pm (est): Checked into Days Inn in Columbus. This may be the sketchiest hotel I've ever been in. It's not horrible, but I am in the middle of nowhere, well next to the fairgrounds which are very deserted. The rooms are 1987 chic. The tv is 1994 chic. The bolt on the door has clearly been shorn off sometime previous. The man at the front desk doesn't really speak the English. He isn't sure how to get to campus from here (mapquest reveals that it is about four blocks to the west). The only food available to me is a McDonalds.

5:53 pm (est): I book a room at the Holiday Inn where Jack is staying for the next two days. It will cost me approximately $300. Will the GTFF reimburse me? I don't know why they would.

6:03 pm (est): Am pleasantly surprised to discover that the Days Inn has free wireless internets.

7:13 pm (est): I begin eating my Classic Premium Grilled Chicken Sandwich, Asian Salad, and Yogurt Parfait (7 lbs, 22 days) and writing this post.

Ah, AGEL, why do I love you so?

[UPDATE]: My "underneath sheet" doesn't actually fit my bed. I can either have the sheet barely tucked in on both sides or tucked in on one side and "hanging loose" on the other. Either way, the sheet will be wrapped around me by 5 am.