Fuck You, Too

An item in today's Register Guard informs us that Arizona considers Oregon their "second rival" behind ASU. They desperately want to beat us this week. It seems we ran up the score on them in 2001, putting up 63 points, apparently hurting their feelings. Also, in the past couple of years we've picked off three of their verbal commitments.

Here's why I don't care and fervently hope that we kick Arizona's collective asses on Thursday.

I hate, hate, and tremendously dislike Mike Stoops. Mike Stoops is the head coach of the "Wildcats." Stoops became Arizona's head coach in 2004. He was previously an assistant under his brother, the also-hated Bob Stoops, at Oklahoma. As you may know, Oklahoma is in the Big-12 conference. The Big-12, in my humble opinion, is the most over-rated conference in the history of the world. I hate every Big-12 team on principle. Recently, Nebraska made it to the 2002 championship game after losing to Colorado, denying the Ducks a shot at the title. We demolished the Big-12 champion Colorado, proving that the conference was way over-rated and that the Ducks should have been in the title game. I'd also like to point out the over-rating of the Big 12 could result in the Ducks being jobbed out of the title game this year as well.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, Mike Stoops. So he comes out of the Big-12 and immediately starts talking smack about the Pac-10 and how we're not ready from the smash-mouth Big-12 style and he's going to show us a thing or two and Arizona is going to become Oklahoma-west, etc., etc. In other words, I hated him from the first day.

I hate Mike Stoops because the fucker gave Oklahoma game film and tips before the Ducks played Oklahoma in the 2005 Holiday Bowl. Yeah, his brother is the coach of Oklahoma, but you do not help beat a fellow conferencee in a bowl game. It is not done. Except by douche bags. Which Mike Stoops is one. A douche bag.

I also hate Mike Stoops because EA Sports' NCAA 2005 (made in 2004) programmers also decided that Mike Stoops was the second coming and they made Arizona impossibly hard to beat in the game. This means that every time you play AZ, you have to be ready for the last-30-second-three-touchdown-comeback. Nothing is more frustrating that spending 45 minutes beating a team only to have the game force your running back to fumble twice and lose the game. Fuck you Mike Stoops and your friends at EA Sports.

For the non-Duck lovers in the crowd, feel free to hate Mike Stoops because he was a scab during the '87 football players strike. That he was obviously not good enough to continue to play real pro ball and had to spend years playing Arena football is small comfort.

I also hate Mike Stoops because he has a 16-28 record at Arizona, but has already received a contract extension for next year. It's not so much that he gets to keep his job, despite the obvious fact that he is a failure as a head football coach, it is that every fuking year I have to read some dumb-ass quote from Stoops about how this is the year AZ turns it around. Oh they're going to be tough this year. The offense is coming around. Best defense in the Pac-10 this year. There is a fine line between swagger and arrogance and idiocy. Stoops straddles the line between arrogance and idiocy while thinking that he is swaggering himself all over the place.

I hope we put up the triple digits on 'em. I know that's practically impossible, but that was always my goal when I played Arizona on the computer. If the game didn't randomly decide that my quarterback was going to throw an interception on every pass, I went for 100 just to do something about my impotent fury.