No, Not That Outer Rim

So my explorations into the "Has George Lucas gone batshit?" question have reveled a disturbing world to me. It is a world where people feel connected enough to the Star Wars movies to be reading and commenting on a website dedicated to Star Wars, but is populated by people who seem to believe that anyone who thinks that the three prequels are shit is a "fanboy." This term is meant to be derogatory. I take it from the tone of the comments that thinking the originals were great is okay, but arguing that the last three are horrible, soul-robbing travesties is something to be mocked. Apparently, the appropriate attitude is that "Menace" had flaws, but because George was trying to do too much to establish the series, "Clones" was pretty good, and "Sith" ranks right up there. Pointing out that many of the plot points in the "prequels" contradict the originals is considered "fanboy" nitpicking. There also seems to be some idea that some of the contradictions stem from Lucas' pandering to we "fanboys" who criticized the first movie.

Aside: Oh God, yes, it was we fanboys who demanded that Yoda and Chewie be good friends who fought for the Republic together, despite the fact that 20 years or so later Chewie can listen to his good buddy Han mock the force while he plays some chess with the droids and not mention that, hey, I know the force, knew a good guy Yoda, cool dude, fought a war together. Sweet Jesus, Kenobi might have been interested in this fact. He might have mentioned that 3PO and R2D2 bear a shocking resemblance to a couple of droids he knew way back when, but then he would have been caught in one of his serial lies to Luke, so it is good that Chewie didn't fucking bring it up then. 'Course we might also have had to deal with the fact that Han calls the force a "hokey religion" and lightsabers "ancient weapons" even though they were apparently used quite commonly only 20 years before.

Aside, aside: For those that have not agonized over these inconstancies/tragic flaws like I have, we know that the big Clone War was only 20 years before because Luke and Leia were born as the shit was going down and they are 20 (at best) when we first meet them. This causes all kinds of problems with the originals. Just as having Luke and Leia be twins causes problems. You may remember that Luke asks Leia if she remembers her mother. Leia says just flashes of images. Luke says he never knew his mother or his father, then the big revel to Leia. How the fuck Leia remembers her mother who died at child birth, I have no idea. Mitaclorians I guess, who fucking knows.

Back to the action, because my point is not to belabor the many problems with the prequels that become problems with the originals for those of us overly attached to logic. My new problem is with people who have no problem with these things, yet still claim to be fans of Star Wars. I mean, if you're like my wife (and you should be), then you don't need to worry about these things, let the movies wash over you. But if you claim to like Star Wars, how can you not hate these things? This is my question, but I might have an analogy that explains some of it, for me anyway.

The people who like the new movies, while still paying reverence to the older ones, are Christians in relations to Jews. Somehow they don't see that their New Testament, while loosely based on the old one, completely screws everything up. You cannot rationally believe in both. You cannot turn the other cheek while demanding an eye for an eye. Oh fuck it, this analogy doesn't really work. Because here one can argue, well, God changed his mind. First it was an eye for an eye, now it's cheek turning time. In the Star Wars universe, I am being asked to accept that when Obi Wan/Moses said the policy was an eye for an eye, it was really cheek turning, but for purposes of expediency it was okay to say eye for an eye, but it was really cheek turning all along.

Why the hell do I care? You've heard it before. Star Wars is my religion. I believe(d?) in it. The Empire took over from the Republic by dissolving the Imperial Senate and giving the Regional Governors control. I didn't need to know the details. Made perfect sense. I was even led to believe that the more Grand Moff Tarkin tightened his grip, the more star systems would slip through his fingers. But way more importantly, of course, man could be redeemed by doing the right thing in the end. A young man with a good heart and right intentions could save the universe. Ah, importantly, a young man with nothing, from nothing, a moisture farmer's ward, could save the universe if he had some skill and some opportunity. Men and women could fight the odds and win, they had to win, because dammit good triumphed over evil.

It all made sense, it was GOOD, but then it didn't and it wasn't. Obi Wan is a liar. Every time Obi Wan opens his freaking mouth, another lie pops out. Chewie is either really, really dumb (a walking carpet?) or really crafty, but only it if it serves the plot. Leia lies to Luke about remembering her mother (for no apparent reason). The force is not some sort of ancient religion, but a recently murdered part of the fabric of the universe. The build time on a Death Star, extremely conveniently, is exactly the amount of time it takes for a pilot skilled enough to destroy it to grow up, although the second one can be knocked off in approximately 3 years, although the Emperor will send his #2 man to oversee the construction because it is going so slowly. Many, many more, but I digress.

I am a sad and troubled man. George Lucas has made me that way. Why he wants to kick me in the balls every few years is beyond me. Why there are people who claim to be Star Wars fans who live with these problems is beyond me. Apparently, all is beyond me as I struggle to recapture a center to my universe. Yes, if there is a bright center to the universe, I am on the planet it is farthest from.