Watching Roaches Climb the Wall

The Fox reality show "Secret Millionaire" is possibly the most offensive thing I have seen on television since I saw Janet Jackson's boob for half a second. (Thank Jeebus the FCC have put an end to those shenanigans.) Well, I haven't actually seen the show, I've only seen the promo, but Lord, it doesn't look like there's really much doubt that this sucks.

The premise of the "reality" show is that each week a super-millionaire will spend 10 days living as a poor person, getting to know the "community," and then revealing his "true" identity to people when he gives a "deserving" person or group a check for $100,000.

If you're anything like me, you're going to need a moment to process all that.

Just in case you think there might be a chance this show could be a well-done exploration of poverty in America, let quash those thoughts now:

"How often do we see somebody who's homeless on the street and wonder what it would be like to live like that?" Fox president of alternative entertainment Mike Darnell asked. "Whereas the superwealthy are so detached from that experience. This is a really clever conceit and has a great emotional arc to it."

I cannot begin to express my disgust with this whole premise. For some reason it's visceral. I mean fuck anyone who thinks they can even begin to "understand" what it's like to be poor because they spend ten days living in a crummy LA apartment. I mean will they have to ride the bus? Public transportation? Holy fucking hell on Earth! Will they have to work some shit job for eight hours a day? Eat Top Ramen? Oh noes! Will they worry about the electricity payment? Will they have to worry about their kids moving down the same road, knowing that there's almost nothing they can do about it? Will they have to know that every fucking day of their lives will be exactly like this, except when they get worse? Will they develop substance habits because anything that can make the pain go away for just a bit is worth whatever theoretical costs come down the road? Will their social lives revolve around the pursuit of pain management? Will they, heaven forbid, be forced to spend their nights watching Fox reality programming because there is nothing else on? Fuck anyone who spends that ten days passing judgment on the behaviors and actions of people who live a completely different life. Fuck anyone who thinks they are some sort of awesome fucking person because they hand someone a check at the end of the ten days (but only if that person is truly worthy!).

The whole thing is fucked up. Fox is going to make millions in advertising on a show where some lucky poor person is going to "win" $100,000. Fuck anyone who comes out of this show "pledging to do more," without realizing all their money is derived from the exploitation of these very people. Who doesn't realize that the whole fucking system is based on exploiting these people. Who doesn't realize that this is just another form of exploitation.

Arg.