It Gives So Much

I gotta remember that going out in public usually results in me getting myself in trouble. I'm not good with people. Unfortunately, I'm not much better at home. As my friend and mentor Fletch said, "I'm a man without a country here, Frank."

Thank God sports season is coming back and I will have an excuse to stay at home watching my precious tv instead of being forced to interact with human beings.

What Would We Do?

Whoa

When BSG decides to bring the answers, it brings the geedee answers. Although last night's episode was largely exposition, I was still riveted. As I said to Ging about halfway through, would you have ever thought you'd be rooting for Ellen Tigh?

A Letter in Support of Tom Zarek

For those BSG fans in the crowd.

My Problem with Battlestar Galactica

So our merry band of heroes is battling dastardly foes and rebellious colleagues and I get the sense that I am supposed to be rooting for the Adamas, Starbuck, Chief and all the other Cylon-alliance advocates. I cannot. Or at least I have a hard time doing so.

My problem stems from my feeling that the Adama boys are two very anti-democratic men. Of course this is one of the main driving story lines of the entire BSG enterprise, the question of how you maintain your democratic ideals in a time of war and conflict and Adama has always come down on the side of thinking that the needs of the military expediency trump democracy. This season, however, as the threat of war and/or destruction is minimized, Adama has shown even more willingness to disregard civilian authority and act unilaterally, going so far as to arrest the acting Quorum chair because he took a vote that Adama didn't like. I will admit that I can't always follow the minutia of the political doings on BSG, so correct me if I am wrong on this: Adama issued an order that all ships co-operate with the implanting of Cylon technology, the Quorum voted 11 to 1 that captains could decide on a ship-by-ship basis whether to co-operate, Adama had the Quorum chair arrested for treason, sent Marines to enforce his order, and installed his son as chair of the Quorum. Ummm...that's good tyranny.

I don't really care whether or not Adama is right about a Cylon alliance. Yes, I understand that I am supposed to think that anyone who hates Cylons is judging an individual Cylon on the actions of the collective Cylon race and that this is wrong, wrong, wrong, but the duly elected government of the fleet voted to leave the decision of Cylon co-operation up to the individual states ships, which is a perfectly legal and reasonable decision. Anytime you have a military commander arresting the (acting) head of the civilian government on the charge of treason, something has gone very awry.

Anyway, this post is inspired by a poll over at LGM wherein a vast majority of respondents are "Approve"ing of Laura Roslin's job performance. WTF, people? As of now, President Laura Roslin has abdicated her duties as President, but has conveniently retained the title so that she can issue proclamations from her lover in her name. In the past, she has resisted elections, arrested her opponent when she did hold elections, tried her most visible opposition for treason, and caved to military authority on every occasion of conflict. I'm not even going to mention her fanatical -- and ultimately wrong (oh I know they'll find the some planet they'll call Earth in the last episode) -- religious ravings. What, in Gods' names, could there be to approve of?

And Now a Message from 1984

Dirk Benedict, who played the original Starbuck (you'll remember him better as Faceman from A-Team), has written a blog post wherein he hilariously asserts that the old Battlestar Galactica was better than the new BSG. As others have noted, this is ridiculous on its face, and the fact that the old version ran for one season while the new version is in its fifth should demonstrate that Dirk is talking out his ass.

Benedict's screed is a hilarious admission of exactly how much he fears female sexuality. He claims that "the Suits" hated his Starbuck because he was too masculine, too flirty, and too heterosexual. He then complains that the women on the new BSG are way too sexual, sexy, and sexful.

For the re-imagined terrorists (Cylons) are not mechanical robots void of soul, of sexuality, but rather humanoid six foot tall former lingerie models who f**k you to death. (Poor old Starbuck, you were imagined too early. Think of the fun you could have had ‘fighting’ with these thong-clad aliens!) In the spirit of such soft-core, sci-fi porn I think a more re-imaginative title would have been “F**cked by A Cylon.”

...

tune in to Stardoe and Cylon #6 (or was it #69?) and Enjoy the Show.

Benedict is also, of course, horrified that the world of BSG is more complex than a Cold War sci-fi kid's show, but really in the end, it comes down fear of the liberated woman.

Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars. Hamlet does not scan a Hamletta. Nor does Hans Solo as Hans Sally. Faceman is not the same as Facewoman. Nor does a Stardoe a Starbuck make. Men hand out cigars. Women “hand out” babies. And thus the world for thousands of years has gone’ round.

If you're a fan of either BSG or old school sexism, check out the post. (I haven't read the 503 comments yet. I hope they are good!).

Who You Got?

Who's the twelfth Cylon?

Watching Roaches Climb the Wall

The Fox reality show "Secret Millionaire" is possibly the most offensive thing I have seen on television since I saw Janet Jackson's boob for half a second. (Thank Jeebus the FCC have put an end to those shenanigans.) Well, I haven't actually seen the show, I've only seen the promo, but Lord, it doesn't look like there's really much doubt that this sucks.

The premise of the "reality" show is that each week a super-millionaire will spend 10 days living as a poor person, getting to know the "community," and then revealing his "true" identity to people when he gives a "deserving" person or group a check for $100,000.

If you're anything like me, you're going to need a moment to process all that.

Just in case you think there might be a chance this show could be a well-done exploration of poverty in America, let quash those thoughts now:

"How often do we see somebody who's homeless on the street and wonder what it would be like to live like that?" Fox president of alternative entertainment Mike Darnell asked. "Whereas the superwealthy are so detached from that experience. This is a really clever conceit and has a great emotional arc to it."

I cannot begin to express my disgust with this whole premise. For some reason it's visceral. I mean fuck anyone who thinks they can even begin to "understand" what it's like to be poor because they spend ten days living in a crummy LA apartment. I mean will they have to ride the bus? Public transportation? Holy fucking hell on Earth! Will they have to work some shit job for eight hours a day? Eat Top Ramen? Oh noes! Will they worry about the electricity payment? Will they have to worry about their kids moving down the same road, knowing that there's almost nothing they can do about it? Will they have to know that every fucking day of their lives will be exactly like this, except when they get worse? Will they develop substance habits because anything that can make the pain go away for just a bit is worth whatever theoretical costs come down the road? Will their social lives revolve around the pursuit of pain management? Will they, heaven forbid, be forced to spend their nights watching Fox reality programming because there is nothing else on? Fuck anyone who spends that ten days passing judgment on the behaviors and actions of people who live a completely different life. Fuck anyone who thinks they are some sort of awesome fucking person because they hand someone a check at the end of the ten days (but only if that person is truly worthy!).

The whole thing is fucked up. Fox is going to make millions in advertising on a show where some lucky poor person is going to "win" $100,000. Fuck anyone who comes out of this show "pledging to do more," without realizing all their money is derived from the exploitation of these very people. Who doesn't realize that the whole fucking system is based on exploiting these people. Who doesn't realize that this is just another form of exploitation.

Arg.

Get Thee to a Nunnery

I don't usually write too much about celebrity gossip, but it's something I follow. I believe Wobs got me hooked on it. When we weren't trolling the net for Lordi videos, I'd hit up the celebrity sites. So I know what's what.

As I said, don't usually comment on this stuff here, but I had to make note of the Miley Cyrus (or, as I call her, Ciley Myrus) hubbub. For those not inclined to watch The View, read the gossip column in the local paper, or be American, Miley is a huge star with all the kids because of the Disney show Hanna Montana, which I have never viewed, but know all about. Because I'm American.

She has an interview in Vanity Fair wherein Annie Leibovitz took some photos, one of which feature some hot 15 year-old naked back action. You can view it here. Go ahead, I'll wait. Prepare yourself, though, it's pretty shocking. Back? Okay. Breathing regular again?

Apparently, a good portion of the America lives in a world where naked 15 year-old backs are something that should not be discussed, let alone shown to the world. Apparently, we're supposed to be very concerned about her fans. Apparently, every girl between the ages of 6 and 19 are going to be running out and demanding that Leibovitz take portraits of their naked backs. Apparently.

The reason I write about this and the kicker for me is that the fine folks at Disney have gotten into the act. The current "line" is that Miley was somehow tricked into taking these "racy" photos or pressured into by Leibovitz.

A Disney spokeswoman, Patti McTeague, faulted Vanity Fair for the photo. “Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines,” she said.

BOOM! The fine folks at Disney are very concerned that someone would manipulate a young woman in the pursuit of profits! The horror!

And Disney is not stopping a tut-tutting the situation, the are going to put Miley on ice for awhile.

"You won't be seeing her for a while," a highranking Disney employee was overheard saying this weekend at a luncheon in LA, according to Page Six. "The company is keeping her away from events and wants her to keep a very low profile for the next four to six months. They're trying to keep her contained."

I honestly don't know where to go with this.

I want to write about the two Americas -- the one where we thought we were past sending young women to the country to have babies to avoid embarrassing the family (let's call this "Blue America") and the one where even the exposure of 15 year-old back is enough to warrant the country treatment ("Red America.")

I want to write about the fact that if there is a single corporation that has done more harm to the young women of America to a greater extent than Disney, I'd like someone to name it. I was at a Girl Scouts meeting the other day (my only one and I am milking it) and the girls were discussing which characters from a musical or play they would want to be. One of them named "the girl lion from the Lion King." I thought about saying something at that point about how interesting it was that the whole movie was male focused, even though though a lion pride is heavily reliant on female lions to survive, to the point where we couldn't even remember the name of the "girl lion," but then other girls started aspiring to be like characters from Rent and my thoughts were taken in other directions. (Hello, fellow Girl Scout parents. Rent? Are you freakin' kidding me!?)

I also want to write about the exploitation of children for entertainment. Also about really crappy kids shows. About corporate control of female bodies. About teen sex. But I have work to do and other outrages piling up on my desk.

Modern Day Leader of the Band

I don't say this often enough:

I love the Simpsons.



I am drunk.



I apologize.



I'll stop now.

Bombardment

Bombardment!

The Devil's Choice to Make

So, tonight at 9 pm I have to choose between some hot K-ville action on the Fox or some less hot, but fascinating, Nimrod Nation action on the Sundance Channel.

I usually resolve these dilemmas by watching the show I am less likely to see in re-runs, but in this case that doesn't really help me. Sundance hasn't scheduled Nimrod on any night but Mondays and K-ville is soon to be canceled.

I might be able to 'rent one of them, but I've no idea which is more likely to be on the 'net...the obscure documentary program or the Fox show nobody watches in the first place.

Why the Office is the Best Show on Television

In addition to the video, know that Jenna Fischer has a blog where she writes about her support of the writers, Steve Carrell reportedly refused to report to work because he had "enlarged balls," and Rainn Wilson called in sick.

Solidarity indeed.

Incompetent Politics

We have a ballot measure battle out here in the sticks. Measure 50 would raises taxes on a pack of cigs by $.85. This money would be used to provide health care for the poor.

Big Tobacco has been running ads against it. Brilliantly, they have framed the issue as a huge give away to HMOs. More people with health care = more money for health insurance companies. They are also going with the "we must protect the sanctity of our Constitution" and "what's next? Coffee??!?!?!??"

The Yes on 50 people, or the Healthy Kids Initiative, just fired back with their first commercial. They have decided to go the (troubling) nativist route and attack the out-of-state tobacco companies that don't care about our kids. Not only should we on the left be deeply troubled that the best weapon our allies have is a claim to "homeland," but Health Kids manages to screw the pooch by having their narrator mispronounce "Oregon."

You out-of-staters may not know this, but we Oregonians are very, very, infinitely very touchy about how "Oregon" is pronounced.

The Healthy Kids folks are running a commercial that has one message, "vote yes because the 'no' crowd is from out of state." Then they manage to fuck up the pronunciation of the state name. How the heck did this get by anyone who actually lives in Oregon? Why was it run? Why? Why? Why?

I wish I could show you the video, but the Health Kids folks are also not competent enough to post their freakin' commercial on the YouTubes, let alone post it to their website.

Boobery.

And lastly, very prominent on the website is the message that Lance Armstrong(!) endorses Measure 50! That's right, out-of-state adultering cheaters think this is a great idea! You should too!

My Life in a Nutshell

Heard last night on Hell's Kitchen: "Chef, I have barely begun to skim the surface of my potential."

Nothing to See Here

Sorry about the lack of posts recently. Busy, busy, busy. I need to write the GTFF newsletter today and I've been in a sarcastic funk sense the weekend. A bender will do that to you.

Convention (that's were I was this weekend) was weird enough that I can't blog about it. I imagine that is a reason nephew has been largely silent since we got back (hold on a sec while I check his blog to make sure he hasn't posted a ton of shit since yesterday...fuck, nevermind). i do want to say this, mostly because it needs to be said, not because those currently pissed at me won't be after they read this, the GTFF might not always agree with each other and we may at times make questionable decisions, but we are the hardest working bunch of unionists in this fucking state and I dare any union to say that they are closer than we are. We may have internal disagreements, but once we face the outside world, we have one face and one voice. Makes me think that if we ever had to go out on strike we could do it.

Also, David Broder has a great column on why Harry Reid is increasingly beginning to suck. For those who want to argue that we are losing the war and somebody needed to say it, I say "yes,' but that somebody could have said it coherently, intelligently and without feeding into the "defeatist" mantra that the GOP likes to put forward.

Although I don't agree with much of what he says, and yes he's a booze-hound (an interesting reason to dismiss someone's arguments, especially with this crowd), and a Brit (imperialist swine!), but I really enjoyed this essay about why religion sucks by Christopher Hitchens in Slate. Don't read the comments though, I've heard more coherent arguments fromm Harry Reid.

And lastly, if you haven't purchased Police Squad on dvd yet, for christsake get off your ass and do it. Or stay on your ass and buy it from amazon.com, but for godssake overnight it.