Friday, January 23, 2009

And Now a Message from 1984

Dirk Benedict, who played the original Starbuck (you'll remember him better as Faceman from A-Team), has written a blog post wherein he hilariously asserts that the old Battlestar Galactica was better than the new BSG. As others have noted, this is ridiculous on its face, and the fact that the old version ran for one season while the new version is in its fifth should demonstrate that Dirk is talking out his ass.

Benedict's screed is a hilarious admission of exactly how much he fears female sexuality. He claims that "the Suits" hated his Starbuck because he was too masculine, too flirty, and too heterosexual. He then complains that the women on the new BSG are way too sexual, sexy, and sexful.
For the re-imagined terrorists (Cylons) are not mechanical robots void of soul, of sexuality, but rather humanoid six foot tall former lingerie models who f**k you to death. (Poor old Starbuck, you were imagined too early. Think of the fun you could have had ‘fighting’ with these thong-clad aliens!) In the spirit of such soft-core, sci-fi porn I think a more re-imaginative title would have been “F**cked by A Cylon.”

...

tune in to Stardoe and Cylon #6 (or was it #69?) and Enjoy the Show.
Benedict is also, of course, horrified that the world of BSG is more complex than a Cold War sci-fi kid's show, but really in the end, it comes down fear of the liberated woman.
Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars. Hamlet does not scan a Hamletta. Nor does Hans Solo as Hans Sally. Faceman is not the same as Facewoman. Nor does a Stardoe a Starbuck make. Men hand out cigars. Women “hand out” babies. And thus the world for thousands of years has gone’ round.
If you're a fan of either BSG or old school sexism, check out the post. (I haven't read the 503 comments yet. I hope they are good!).

7 comments:

ash said...

I would say fuck Dirk Benedict, but (a) I have said this before, repeatedly (after he wrote Lost in Castration); (b) he seems to be doing a fine job fucking himself, as you point out; and (c) it should be apparent to most everyone other than Benedict himself that the new--make that improved--Starbuck kicks more ass in five minutes of screen time than he did in an entire "career" (if one season can properly be characterized as such) on BSG. Stardoe? Really? If it's just stereotypically masculine traits Benedict is looking for in the Starbuck update, Katee Sackhoff's character has that covered, and in a far less cartoonish fashion than the buffoon he played back in the day. Her Starbuck is far more complex than any character he has ever played. In my thoroughly biased opinion (as you can tell, I am a hardcore Strbuck devotee), the Starbuck transformation is one of the best things about the new series.

I think you are right on about his fear (and loathing) of female sexuality. I also have to question whether he has watched the new series. I must have missed the "fucked to death by a Cylon" episode(s). Indeed, other than the hypersexual relationship between Gaius and the Six in the early series, I don't feel like Cylon fucking has been a dominant theme of the show. (Maybe I'm wrong about that; I'll have to give that some thought.) The women characters are sexy, as are the men, although I guess for Benedict to point that out would be "gay" (and might be a sore subject for him; I mean, look at the guy--he's no Michael Trucco, Jamie Bamber or James Callis). I have no doubt that choosing conventionally sexy stars was an intentional casting decision--and that it accounts for at least part of the new show's wide(r) appeal.

Oh, what the hell, I am obvioulsy riled up so I'll just say it: Fuck Dirk Benedict.

ash said...

(p.s. thanks for the ash-baiting post. i was feeling left out after the recent entries targeting lex and court.)

dave3544 said...

Ash, yeah, Lost in Castration is the same article reprinted from 3 years ago.

I also failed to point out the "Hans Solo." Unless I've been fraking it up for years, it's "Han Solo." He's a rouge, not Danish.

ash said...

"he's a rogue, not Danish.

priceless.

Anonymous said...

No, gaius is not sexy! Seriously, ash? What about the guy who plays Hilo (sp?)? He's way cuter.

ash said...

Ginger, FWIW Shahed also yelled out an indignant "seriously!" when he heard about my Helo omission. You're right that Tahmoh Penikett probably should have been on my list. My preference for Gaius over Helo has a lot to do with my own personal tastes for less (traditionally) masculine men.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad Shahed and I are on the same page.