Neither One of Us Is Chinese

If this were a just world, here's what would happen to a couple of letter to the editor writers:

They would be sleeping soundly in their homes after a stressful and trying day. Suddenly a large man wearing a blue outfit with a club and a gun would enter their room pointing and shouting in a foreign language while holding his hand on his gun. Almost immediately, this guy falls down to the ground. While getting up from the ground he continues shouting at them in a foreign language. As our letter to the editor friends start to sit up in bed, the man fires electrodes into their skin and shocks them with 50,000 volts of electricity.

In a just world this would happen to these people. Unfortunately, this is not a just world.

I've Fallen and Can't Complete the Joke

I give the Emerald a certain amount of grief, but this is pretty good. And, for a humor piece, pretty accurate.

Assume the Position

This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I literally LOLed (LLOL) this morning.

Eugene should support police

The people of Eugene should be grateful to have a dedicated police officer such as Judd Warden. Officer Warden works hard and is committed to upholding the law and keeping citizens safe. Until you have been put into a situation, like law enforcement officers deal with day to day, don’t be so critical of their actions.

Eugene police officers are sent into unknown situations routinely with very limited information. They constantly must be aware and ready for a life or death situation. Until they can prove otherwise, a high risk police scene is considered dangerous until secured. If suspects are not cooperating with police officers, then they face being restrained with what force is necessary until they cooperate.

I know that if I were visiting another country and police officers were speaking with authority in a language I did not understand, I would immediately lie face down on the ground with my arms and legs spread wide until directed otherwise. That usually is a universal signal of surrender or complying with law enforcement.

For that matter, if I were protesting in Kesey square in downtown Eugene and police officers were attempting to arrest me, I would assume the same position.

Don’t scrutinize the Eugene police for their actions, when it’s the actions of the suspects that are out of line.

It’s time Eugene citizens starting showing more support for their police officers instead of being unsupportive.

Mike Montgomery

Noti

Angry Dad

This is the kind of thing that gets me all fired up in the morning.

Nothing to See Here

This is one hell of a sentence:

As police union leaders who have bargained the contractual impacts of the implementation of an external police auditor system, and who are in the process of filing multiple contractual grievances and state-regulated unfair labor practice complaints regarding those impacts, we constantly espouse to those outside the police union sphere to try to approach this realm from a neutral perspective.

Reading the full article, I think that were supposed to ignore the fact that the local cops are acting like dicks and doing whatever they can to stop the voter-imposed public oversight system. Because calling them dicks is not neutral. Pointing out the rapes is not neutral. Pointing out the whitewashing of cops punching handcuffed suspects in the face is not neutral. Pointing out that the pigs went out of their way to vote a cop "Officer of the Year" while he is under investigation by the police auditor, that would not be neutral.

Certainly, saying "Fuck the police" would not be neutral and should not be done while the police are in the process of delaying the implementation of a neutral oversight system for as long as possible.

Omar, He Ain't

Crime in Baltimore is out of control. Fortunately, Officer Riveri is on the case.