For the Higher Ed Geeks

EW Letter of the Week

62 HOURS OF PAUSE

Sixty-two hours. A wearisome span, when one considers the difficulty of staying awake so long. More than 3,700 minutes. Now consider pausing for a moment of silence, a minute in traditional length, one for each fallen American soldier, a traditional honor, a gesture of respect. Not much to ask, given the sacrifice of each young man and woman, given how many minutes they've given up of their future to the cause of this war of folly.

Sixty-two hours. More than 3,700 consecutive minutes of silence needed to commemorate the American dead. And how many more hours were we to commemorate the Iraqi dead? Ten thousand, perhaps more. So many lives so terribly wasted, so many more to follow. Bring 'em home, and keep 'em well.

Todd Huffman, Eugene

I Did Not Know That

I was reading the TownHall blog about the Larry Craig (R-Idaho) scandal and learned a couple of things in the comments section that I thought I'd share with you all.

1. Larry Craig is a morally righteous man. His airport incident proves this. You see, because he is so moral and righteous, he is able to resist these urges he has, but sometimes the pressure gets to be too much and he explodes in a rather spectacular manner. Because he's so moral and righteous.

2. Democratic Senators and Representatives engage in this kind of behavior all the time. You don't hear about it because of the liberal media.

3. You know the GOP is the party of good, moral people, despite the repeated evidence otherwise, because when a Republican gets caught doing this kind of thing, other Republicans call for his resignation. Democrats applaud this sort of behavior.

4. David Vitter shouldn't resign because, while what he did was bad, it wasn't, you know, gay.

5. Clinton.

6. Clinton.

7. Clinton.

8. Barney Fag Frank.

9. Clinton.

10. Ted Kennedy.

11- /infinity. Clinton.

R-G to Eggheads: We Weren't Kidding the First Time

Two hot paragraphs were included in an editorial that appeared in today's Register Guard. It is an otherwise innocuous article about Oregon law governing diploma-mill degrees. Then, for no reason, here's Apu:

But should coaches be required to hold degrees at all? Of course not, because athletic "departments" are not really parts of universities, at least not at top-level schools. The UO athletic department is an ancillary business that is allowed by our cultural norms to use the university's name and trademarks to operate a large-scale entertainment business. The more private money it gets (thereby freeing other actual and potential funds for academic uses) the better.

That is why someone such as Pat Kilkenny is a good choice to lead such an enterprise. He's an experienced businessman with the ability to attract and manage money. The fact that Kilkenny has no degree is a who-cares. The problem he faces is that he is unaccustomed to operating within the slow, talkative process of academe, in which his actions will be publicly trashed by low-income people he has no choice but to work with. He is accustomed to doing things in private with people in his own economic stratum.

I don't have much more to say, other than "wow." What do you got?

You Can Shove Your Little Pink Houses, Too

First person that can get me a reliable figure on how much graduate tuition is for the 2007-8 academic year at the University of Indiana-Bloomington wins my appreciation and respect.

Oh Lord, I hate these madre humpers.

What's So Wrong with Being Sexy?

There's been some discussion in the 'osphere about whether the new Heineken ad is the most sexist commercial ever (but only in that circle-jerkish blogosphere way, so I won't give the multiple links).

I'd like to nominate this gem from Carl's Jr. Wait a sec and it will come up. I tried searching around for the full 30 second spot I saw last night, which just features more rapping about flat buns and awesome objectification.

As I watched it, I was horrified, but it also occurred to me that I know all the words to "Baby Got Back," which I've always considered stupidly goofy. Is there a difference? Lisa suggests the school setting makes this worse.

There But for the Grace of God We Go to Colorado

From the Graduate Appointment Manual:

Enrollment Deposit- One time $200 deposit that is not applied to tuition. The deposit is returned to students when they leave the University, or may be donated back to the Graduate School to be used directly for fellowships to graduate students.

and

The laws of the state of Colorado require that people employed to teach in any state
university who are citizens of the United States affirm in writing that they will support the constitutions of the United States and of Colorado, and that they will faithfully execute the duties of their employment. The state of Colorado oath must be signed by all active GPTI’s and kept in their home department.
You may download the oath at: http://www.colorado.edu/graduateschool/oath.html

No Shrugging Allowed

Let's all agree to pay Goff to live blog this:



John Stossel is headlining. The Stoss!

Calgon

Can something be both racist and progressive at the same time? I offer this for discussion. [UPDATE: I didn't know that VH1s, I Love the 70s had already covered this]

Register Guard to Eggheads: Fuck You

Picture on the front page of the Register Guard:


A University of Oregon athlete soaks in one of the heated pools at the athletic department's expanded medical treatment center at the Casanova Center. Among the features are nutritionist and X-ray stations, multiple pools and flat-screen televisions aplenty.

The article that goes with the picture includes this gem, "The first thing that jumps out to visitors, and this is no surprise because it's an Oregon trademark, is that there are flat-screen TVs everywhere." Yes, this has become quite the trademark here at Oregon. I remember when the UO first offered us a flat-screen in every office. i thought they were joking! The article goes on, "In the expanded space, spread out over 14,580 square feet, a recovering athlete will seemingly never be out of range of a flat-screen tuned to some type of sporting event."

Then we get this column from the R-G's new sports columnist. The shorter version is that you don't really need a college degree to be successful, whether you want to be a sports columnist, multi-millionaire, athletic director, or baseball coach. It is this column we are informed/reminded that the UO waived it's requirement to hold a BA to be the athletic director in order to hire AD Kilkenny. Of course, since we were waiving the requirement about any relevant experience, waiving the degree requirement is no big deal.

Boy the R-G hates the UO.

The Iraq War is Just Like (a) WWII (Movie)

It occurred to me the parallels between the Iraq War and the movie Saving Private Ryan are just too amazing not be commented on.

Iraq under Saddam Hussein is just like a guy who has lost all his brothers in war. You see the Iraqi people were suffering, but they didn't know exactly how bad it was and they needed someone to rescue them.

The United States military is just like the...United States military (see, I told you!). The Army is just like those nine men that were sent out to get Private Ryan (Iraq) and give him the good/bad news (we liberated you from the dictator/we've completely destroyed your country and sparked civil war).

Along the way there is some grumping and groaning from the soldiers who have to go get Private Ryan, but in the end we (humorously) learn/realize that complaints only go down, not up, and that we (Democrats, liberals, and/or terrorist sympathizers) should shut up and follow orders, trusting in the wisdom of those that can see the bigger picture and quote Lincoln.

While the journey to find Ryan might take a while, with stops in Cherbourd (Congress) and a Nazi machine gun nest (the UN, where we take out all the nations that would stop us), we eventually find Ryan (liberate Iraq!)!

But Ryan (Iraq) doesn't want to leave his men (the Middle East) and the military realizes how important that darn bridge is (defeating evil), so we stay behind to help Ryan defeat evil, despite the fact that our mission was accomplished (mission accomplished) and we had really won the war (we had really won the war).

In the defeat of evil we lost a lot of men. But we also realized that maybe, just maybe, it was worth it to save Private Ryan, who seems like a decent chap, and if saving Private Iraq earns us the right to go home, well then, that's our mission.

I like to think that in 60 years or so, when Iraq is an old man, it will visit Arlington National Cemetery, maybe bringing the whole family along as a sort of vacation, and it will fall to its knees and beg its wife to tell it that it has been a good nation. And you know what, despite the fact that we will have been given absolutely no information about Iraq, other than it ability to produce fertile off-spring, deep in our hearts we will know that yes, Iraq has been a good nation and the whole crazy mission was worth it after all.

Thank You, Come Again

In my readings about the great Phil Knight and his great donation to the "University of Oregon," I have learned a couple of things that I'd pass on to my academic friends.

By now we're all very tired of familiar with the idea that the university is a business and the students are customers. You give good grades because you want to keep the customers happy. You show movies because you want to keep your customers happy. And, if your department is in financial straights, the only reasonable solution is to attract more customers to your department by, you know, not teaching, well, history or anything else the young people might not like.

But did you know that not only students are customers in the university setting? No sir (or ma'am, if you happen to swing that way), donors are also customers. That's right, Phil Knight is the UO's biggest customer and, like all good businesses, the UO needs to be responsive to its customer. And when an employee, say a track coach, basketball coach, and/or athletic director upsets a customer, then that employee needs to be dismissed. That's the way it's done in the business world, and it's high time the eggheads realize that this is what it is like in the real world.

Another customer of the university is the taxpayer. You are probably familiar with this one. It is the university's duty to provide the customer with a product they can be happy about. And believe me, they are not happy with these egghead professors and their anti-America horseshit. Thank God at the UO we have successful athletic teams or we'd be getting even less money from our customers.

Thank God indeed.

Yes, the only people in the entire world who are not customers of the university, and therefore have nothing to say about how the business should be run, are, of course, the faculty.

Casting Director Dave

When they make American Tabloid into a movie, here's the guy I want playing Pete Bondurant.

Not Begging Really, Just...

There's absolutely no reason why anyone should, but if someone wanted to buy me something, you do a lot worse than this shirt.


The site is decently cool, check it out.

EW Letter of the Week

There wasn't much there this week. I went with Mark because he manages to take a position we might all be sympathetic towards to its completely illogical extreme. Yes, Mark, they rig football games, but for some inexplicable reason, they sometimes let Democrats win.

BROADWAY BOONDOGGLE

It was sad to see EW editorialize against democratic decisions regarding plans to bulldoze part of downtown and subsidize new chain stores and condos (Slant, 8/16). EW condemned plans for a ballot initiative (i.e. democracy) to ask the taxpayers if they want to give this boondoggle $50 million — almost $400 from each citizen. The unfolding real estate crash shows it is nuts to promise more corporate welfare for development speculators — we could build a covered Farmers' Market, new parks, improve bus service and restore school services for less money.

It was nice to see EW's cover story that college football is not really academics. Watching mass events involving extreme competition for territory teaches passive acceptance of automated warfare. Perhaps the UO football department could be spun off as a separate corporation, keeping academics and industrial pseudo-sports separate.

Football is such a state religion in this country that it's even used as an indicator of presidential selections. From 1936 to 2000, when the Washington Redskins team won the game before the "election," the president or his successor was re-elected. When the Redskins lost the game before the "election," then the president or his successor was defeated. The odds of this being chance (17 times in a row) is less than one in 100,000. The U.S. presidential election is decided before votes are cast, and the rigging of the football game is an inside joke for the financial elites. More details are at www.oilempire.us/elections.html

Mark Robinowitz, Eugene

EDITOR'S NOTE: For the record, what we said in Slant last week regarding the proposed public-private partnership downtown was, "Let's gather more information before we as a community decide to kill it."

An IM Infatuation Turned to Romance. Then the Truth Came Out.

And Ash would have us believe that nothing exciting happens in Buffalo.

An IM Infatuation Turned to Romance. Then the Truth Came Out.

Not That Anyone Who Reads This Blog Does, But...

For those of you who cling to the last vestiges of your religion by buying into some half-assed new age notion of universal interconnectedness and the ability to affect the world through thought, could you do me a favor and send out some kind wishes for my friend Alyssa who is facing some quite unexpected gall bladder surgery?

Thanks.

Yes, Ash, that Alyssa.

On We

Oregon Athletics -- Property of Nike, Inc.

I want to write a big long blog post about Phil Knight's $100 million donation to the UO Athletic Department, but I can't. All my attempts to write get muddled and sound stupid. This is one of those things where you just have to live in Eugene and know the ins and outs to understand.

I am a life-long Ducks fan. I have three football jerseys, four or five "Oregon" sweatshirts, and more t-shirts commemorating more half-ass bowl games than I care to admit. When the Ducks win, Saturday night is a party that is capped by watching the 11:30 pm to 2:30 am replay on KEZI, which means enduring Joe Giansante and Anthony Newman calling the game, the endurance of which proves the metal of a true Duck fan. Should the Ducks lose, Saturday night takes on a more mellow tone, with Dave and Ginger quietly watching a movie. No replay watching. I don't read the Sunday sports page.

I have been faced with the fact that my beloved Ducks are not what they used to be. We used to be losers. Lovable losers. We were harmless and absolutely nobody cared. Autzen Stadium used to seat 44 thousand fans. It was hard to get tickets to see the Huskies, otherwise you could walk up to the ticket window and get tickets on game day. Reserved seats were for suckers, because with a general admission ticket you could sit just about any where. The typical crowd was about 25 thousand. For a big game, one we had an off chance of winning, there might be a crowd of 33 thousand. It rained. I swear to God it rained every game. We wore garbage bags as rain coats. I thought for the longest time that garbage bags were green in Oregon because we wore them to the game. (We couldn't wear hunting gear, because the arch-rival Beavers sport the orange and black. Wearing orange in Autzen just wouldn't go down.) Phil Knight wasn't anywhere near any of these games. He certainly wasn't anywhere near the 1983 'Toilet Bowl" where Oregon and Oregon State managed to come up with a 0-0 draw.

But those days ended, triumphantly, happily, on October 22, 1994 when Oregon beat Washington. In those days, Washington was a football powerhouse. Only Pac-10 teams had won the conference title in decades, USC, UCLA and Washington. Washington was the team we hated. They were good and they knew it. They dominated the NW schools of the Pac-10. They had won the 1991 national championship. In 1994 the Ducks were having a decent year, building off recent successes. We'd been to the Independence Bowl a couple of times and even though we'd gone 5-6 the previous year, there was reason to believe that Oregon could be a perennial middle-of-the-road team. We were 4-3 at the time, with a big win over USC, but disappointing loses to Iowa and WSU. We had little to no hope of beating the Huskies, but if we could go 6-5, then maybe another Independence Bowl!

The Ducks were playing Washington well, but were behind in the fourth quarter. Danny O'Neil drove Oregon down the field and we scored and went ahead, 24-20 with only a couple of minutes left to go. But our celebrations were guarded. Washington's QB Damon Huard led the Huskies down the field, slicing and dicing our secondary. I don't think there was a single Duck fan who didn't think that the Huskies were going to score. It was inevitable. Being a Duck fan at the time required a strong sense of fatalism. You had to have it. You had to be wary. The Ducks were the team that fumbled on the one-yard line. We missed the game winning field goal. We gave up the last minute kick-off return for a touchdown. We found a way to lose. It was who we were, what we did. So of course Washington was going to score a touchdown and break our hearts. Then this happened:

The play has come to be known as "The Pick" and is undoubtedly the greatest moment in Oregon sports history (until today that is!). I get goosebumps when I watch the video. I can recite what Jerry Allen says from memory. "A most improbable finish to the football game" indeed! We won! And we went to the Rose Bowl. And Oregon sports have never been the same sense.

I don't know if Phil Knight, Oregon's # 1 fan, was at that game. He might have been. The Huskies game always sold out. It was a big game even when we lost. If you could see better, you'd see that there was no Nike swoosh on the uniform that Kenny Wheaton was wearing. Oregon was not a Nike team then. There were many Nike teams, just not Oregon. I believe that we became a Nike team after Oregon went to the Rose Bowl. Phil Knight started coming to Oregon home games after the Rose Bowl season. He stopped coming to home games in 2000, when the University of Oregon decided to join the Worker's Rights Consortium. Phil Knight is Oregon's #1 fan, as long as the policies of the University of Oregon do not upset him.

The WRC controversy has a lot of meaning for me as a Duck fan. I guess it was my first realization that Oregon had become a "big time" college football program. After the Rose Bowl and the following Cotton Bowl year, I moved to Baltimore. I kept in touch with the Ducks by driving down to DC to sit in a Congressional staff office and listen to the Ducks' and Beavers' games on the internet with a friend. When I got back to Eugene, I realized that the Ducks were no longer in the business of being lovable losers, we were in the business of college sports.

It was decided that we needed to expand the football stadium. I am sure that for many people Autzen stadium was an eye-sore. It is made out of concrete, cleverly disguised to look like concrete. It is just a giant concrete bowl placed in the ground. The benches are made of wood that is conditioned to soak up as much rain as possible, so that unless you are sitting on something, you had a wet ass. So it was decided we needed more seats. And a new facade. Knight pledged $30 million toward the cost of the stadium. Then the UO went and did something stupid. It joined the WRC.

I won't go into the details of the WRC controversy, but joining was the result of a vote of the faculty Senate, a vote to the student government and month-long campout on the lawn of the administration building to force the UO administration to follow university policy. When the UO finally did announce that the UO was joining the WRC, Knight was not pleased. He withdrew his $30 million pledge and announced that he would never donate again. I don't remember a lot of the details, but I do know that Knight skipped coming to a home football game. To punish us or something. I remember that Register Guard, our paper of record, columnist Ron Bellamy wrote a column that bemoaned this fact. I remember him specifically mentioning that listening for Knight's helicopter to arrive was a game-day tradition at Oregon. I remember wondering about this. I thought sitting in the rain with a garbage bag over you was an Oregon tradition. Walking across the footbridge, blowing late leads, these were Oregon traditions.

it turns out I was wrong. In the years I was gone, the Oregon football fan went from being a blue-collar guy from Springfield to a chablis man from Portland. And we hated liberals. Liberals were not people we football fans respected. UO athletics and their fans became dominated by Republicans. Moderate Rockefeller Republicans, but Republicans none the less. And the last thing we wanted was anyone telling us that Phil Knight wasn't the greatest guy in the world.

I don't remember the exact sequence of events, but at some point UO President Dave Frohnmayer withdrew the UO from the WRC and we joined the FLA, which was the Nike-sponsored watch-dog group. Phil eventually pledged his money again and returned to his air-conditioned box at Autzen Stadium. I remember that at one game the athletic department passed out t-shirts that read "Thank you, Phil." I think this was when he was still "protesting" by not coming to games. He was supposed to see all the students pledging their undying loyalty to him and be touched enough to give us money. I snagged a shirt and wore it for awhile. It drove my union brothers and sisters crazy. I tried to explain that I was wearing it ironically, because I was thanking Phil for reminding us all who it was that set university policy, Phil Knight. Hard to wear a t-shirt "ironically." Fortunately, the Oregon University System solved the sweatshop/labor monitoring issue for us by barring all state universities and college from making purchasing decisions based on "politics." Because there is nothing so non-political as not taking human rights into consideration.

I remember having a discussion/argument about the Nike issue with my then advisor. I remember tentatively advancing the idea that there was something morally wrong that Oregon's football success was being purchased with money made off of the backs of low wage workers in repressive countries. He disagreed. His belief was that Nike money was being made the way all money was being made, by exploiting the cheapest resources possible and the UO could benefit from the largess. He argued that it was better that it go to an institution whose motive was educating people; in a way we were spinning sin into gold. I didn't really buy that argument then. I was startled that a nineteenth-century historian could miss the obvious parallel to the slavery argument and advance a modern-day "slavery profits can be used for good" argument. But then, I grew up post-civil rights movement and he grew up pre-civil rights movement.

So while I have been increasingly uncomfortable with the issue of where the money comes from, my unease has been compounded by the more recent "the athletics department must be seen as a business" arguments that have been advanced by the UO. So much of what is said in regards to any conflict between acadmeics and athletics is becoming increasingly problematic and bizarre. The UO administration would have us believe that the athletics department should be seen as completely separate from the university. (Unless $100 million donations come into the athletics department, then it is a donation for the "University of Oregon.") There have been too many mini-scandals recently to go into, but the athletics department has certainly been acting as if it is business, not a part of a public institution. And that business is owned by Phil Knight.

In the last couple of years we have seen the departure of the athletic director and the track coach. Why? They pissed Knight off. From the R-G:

He [Knight]clearly had a falling out with former AD Bill Moos, and issues that couldn't be resolved until Oregon bought out Moos' contract, hired Kilkenny at a token salary, and brought [Associate AD and Knight friend] Bartko back from less than a year at California. Bartko and Kilkenny have the credibility with Knight that Moos once had and lost, and those relationships provided the groundwork for Saturday's commitment.

As a side comment, I want to note that columnist Ron Bellamy says these things approvingly. It is the stance of the only paper in Eugene/Springfield that when the UO's largest donor wants public employees fired, they should be fired. The R-G also fully supports the idea that the most important qualification for being an athletic director in the state of Oregon is being friends with the largest donor.

Here's my current favorite story. On Thursday, the R-G reported the Ducks would be hold a "secret" practice in Beaverton at the Nike campus on Saturday. Now, this scrimmage may or may not have been in violation of NCAA rules, but that doesn't seem to matter. When I first read about this, I naively thought that Bellotti was holding a closed practice away from campus for some sort of team building exercise. I now realize, of course, that this private scrimmage was a little reward for the $100 million man. Donate $100 million and we'll haul the football team across the state for a little private afternoon practice for you. Don't know if it'd be more or less to get the new competitive cheerleading squad for an hour or so. And I am saddened that writing that is way less plausible than it should be.

I'd also like to note that the R-G did not make the connection between the scrimmage and the donation in their two stories today. Possibly because there is no connection, possibly because it looks pretty bad. This also may explain why the story being sold in the R-G is that none of the administrators at the UO had any idea this announcement was coming. Pete the Barber tells me "everyone" on campus had been buzzing about this announcement all of last week.

So, here I sit, a committed Duck fan finding that my excitement about the upcoming season is tainted by the fact that I know that my beloved Ducks have been sold. Sold to the highest bidder, the guy who was able to exploit the most Asians and raise the most cash. Every time the Ducks win, it will have less to do with a plucky devil-may-care spirit and more to do with better practice facilities, better locker rooms, better grass and women at the recruiting parties. We will win because we spent more money than the other guys. This is what the athletic department and Register Guard tell me. You can't win unless you spend money; the guy who spends the money calls the shots. These are not my Oregon Ducks, they are Phil Knight's Oregon Ducks.

This depresses me. Can even Kenny Wheaton make me feel better? Let me find out.

1973 MG Midget -- $7000

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You and I Deserve to Die

I'm sure we've all had it up to here discussing Papa Bear's anti-Kos crusade, but I couldn't help but think of it when I was reading the comments to this hilarious piece at TownHall:

Apparently, it is certain that the terrorists will attack with a nuclear bomb. This is the fault of unnamed politicians and leftist media. I love the fact that MacKinnon is bold enough to tell me the "truth," but not bold enough to risk a lawsuit by naming names.

The commentors would have us believe that this nuclear attack will be a good thing. Why? Well, because it will probably hit a major US city, killing hundreds of thousands of leftists who have it coming. Early in the comments there is expressed hope that it will be close enough to the NY Times building so as to kill all those traitorous bastards or, alternately, the terrorists hold off until a Clinton administration and they hit DC. And we're the ones with some sort of derangement syndrome.

Not Even Once

Artist statement: I'm thinking of bringing Seasonville back, but over here and not daily. We'll see how it goes. Without Goff cackling over my shoulder, I feel as if I am putting this out there and nobody "gets" it. And, like all true artists, I am only in it for the positive feedback. Which is not to say that you need to praise me. But, you know, don't hold back.

Counterintuitive

I used to entertain Wobblie by reading him particularly awesome columns from the Daily Emerald, our my campus newspaper. Our particular favorite contained this all-time classic paragraph:

Karma: My computer broke last week. I rammed into a sidewalk and gashed a hole in my tire about a month ago. Recently, when I attempted to fill in an online application, the program decided not to work for me. Am I just bitching about things, or do I have bad Karma? Does Karma exist? And, if it does, what makes you deserve the bad stuff? And, how do you get to all the glorious good Karma?

These questions are not rhetorical and go unanswered.

But I can't read to Wobblie anymore, so this will have to do. Emerald columnist Josh Grenzsund sticks it to Dems today by pointing out that Dems are just a bunch of weak-ass bitches. To make his point he writes two very bewildering paragraphs (well, three sentences, but you know j-commers English grads(!)):

Republicans, though rife with a vocabulary of Christian prudence, do have this relentless drive to push and stretch what is credible and appropriate. That is truly punk-ass.

Think about it. Who would be more natural in liberty spikes and a Misfits t-shirt- Nixon or JFK, Reagan or Carter, Bush (either one) or Clinton (either one)?

Don't give it too much thought, it is not worth it.

But this is not why I write. I write to bring you the fantasy-land assertion that if Dems get elected president, the war in Iraq will continue through any Dem presidency. Why? Because only a Republican would have the ballz to unilaterally withdraw.

Now, traditional Democratic behavior would drag U.S. involvement in Iraq through all four years and leave that party broadside and prime to be sunk in 2012 for continuing the current administration's failure.

What that president will have to do immediately to have any credibility by 2012 is to pull a Republican move and unilaterally withdraw from Iraq - be a leader, take power, take control, and bring the Democratic vision to this country. Period.

Grenzsund's piece drips with admiration of fascism. And I am not using that word as a euphamism for "right-wing." He literally writes in praise of the "punk-ass" who is willing to ignore trivialities such as law and democracy. He writes in praise of Rovian tactics:

But this comes back to that certain moral fiber. Republicans know how to attack and Democrats are generally poor defenders because they want to be attackers but lack the aggressiveness.

For Democrats this is scary stuff.

It's scary because in this sense conservatives are extremely radical and unscrupulous. In comparison Democrats come across as victims - always seeking compromise, sharing, peace and hoping to all get along, but rarely able to take control of a campaign situation.

When Republicans like Rove go after a power position, they believe not in sharing power, but taking power.

But the next paragraph is what most caught my attention. I am guessing that Mr. Grenzsund just returned from some Young Republican indoctrination session and this is what he got out of it:

Just taking power, whatever the cost, is a simple plan, and with its simplicity comes effectiveness. Democrats want to take power in order to share power, but this policy represents a basic weakness because it can be targeted as a paradox that signifies indecisiveness.

It is weakness to want to share power. It is a weakness, not because sharing power in inherently weak, but because it is a perceived weakness that can be exploited for political gain. Grenzsund goes on to call this brand of politics "justified," because, you know, if you can be made to appear to be weak, you are weak.

So what I learned from the Emerald today: Nixon = punk rock. Only Republicans have the ballz to start and stop wars. And seizing power is effective strength that should be admired, while seeking to "share" power is weakness that must be crushed.

Alright, my day is off to a good start.

Jackie for President?

OMG Yes!

EW Letter of the Week

A new feature here will be the Eugene Weekly "letter of the week." I will usually post them on Thursday or Friday. They will be selected for their certain Eugene je ne sais qoui.

GUIDED REALITY

Instead of us dwelling in what we fight against, can we find the courage to dream and believe in what we truly want and commit to one act of gratitude as if we already have it?

Imagine living in a world without war and violence. We only know safety. All have amnesty in spite of our differences. All of humanity having a deep lasting bond of love and trust cementing us as one spirit. Civil liberties? What concern? All have plenty of health care, food and shelter and can hope to grow old like the still standing Appalachian / Pacific Crest forests, harmony and balance between all genders. Plenty of alternative transportation, all breaking gasoline addiction (Hallelujah!). Instead of guns and cars, cool bikes and guitars. No matter what one's circumstances, no one can steal the paintbrush to one's imagination. (Tom Petty's song "Can't Stop the Sun" comes to mind). Feel, taste, smell, hear and see this world with every fiber of your being!

As a songwriter/artist I not only compose for money and to make my friends happy; I wish to restore a glimmer of light and hope to humankind. Dreaming is our best defense.

Ceila (Starshine) Levine, Eugene

UPDATE: "No matter what one's circumstances, no one can steal the paintbrush to one's imagination." just became the tagline on my e-mail.

From the Comics Curmudgeon:

Today’s Gil Thorp is nothing less than a divine symphony of severed limbs. You cannot convince me that any of the arms on display here are actually attached to the Thorpian quasihumans near whose heads they’re hovering — the scale and the angles are all wrong. Particularly baffling is the behemoth paw in panel one. Is Fu “Rap Sheet” Manchu supposed to be holding a TV remote? It seems unlikely: not only is the hand bigger than his head, but he’s only about eight inches away from the television set.

I love that, having been insulted, Coach Kaz calls his girlfriend to “check in” emotionally, only to be further taunted for his dimwittery. FEEL THE BURN, COACH! She’s not dating you for your mind; she only loves your hairy, hairy arms, and the furious fists at the end of them.

Marmaduke, 8/16/07

You may have noticed the new link to Gil Thorp on my blogroll. It is quickly becoming my favorite comic. Today's actually makes quite a bit of sense. Usually they are just three panels of non-sequiturs.

The guy in the middle is Coach Kaz. He is a main character, Assistant-coaching Milford High's various athletic teams. Yes, he does appear to be wearing large pearl earrings in both ears. As far as i know, no one knows why and none of the other characters ever reference this quirk. And yes, he's straight as an arrow.

My Results

Kucinich
Clinton
Obama
Richardson
Edwards
Dodd
Gravel
Biden
Paul
McCain
Huckabee
Hunter
Romney
Guiliani
Trancedo
Brownback

I'm surprised to see Clinton so high up on my list. Also disappointed in Obama. Even the things I agreed with him about we're crap things like lead paint. I also thought the test was interesting because, at least for me, it buries any notion that Republicans and Dems are both the same. Half of what the Republicans were saying scared the bejesus out of me and I had to wonder exactly what world they were living in.

Save Us Lord

Rudy's foreign policy ideas are PWND by Fred Kaplan in Slate.

You know, you say to yourself, there's no fucking way that anyone could take this guy seriously, but then you look at the polls.

Did I Cry Just a Little?

Well, maybe...

From Lance:

The idea that Democrats have a problem appealing to religious voters that they need to address if they are going to win elections depends...well, first, on pretending they don't win any elections, but then on believing that the religious vote is the Right Wing Christian vote, as if yahooism and know-nothingism and racism and homophobia and misognyny and a patriarchal authoritarianism are all there is to being religious.

Politics

I am currently taking this test to find out who I support. It is extensive. I'm a quarter the way through and Hillary, Barack, and Chris are all tied for first. Update surely to follow.

General Douchery

Via many:

(Gen.) RALPH PETERS ON CONGRESS AND PETRAEUS:

Those dead and maimed Yazidis were just props: The intended audience was Congress.

Al Qaeda has been badly battered. It's lost top leaders and thousands of cadres. Even more painful for the Islamists, they've lost ground among the people of Iraq, including former allies. Iraqis got a good taste of al Qaeda. Now they're spitting it out.

The foreign terrorists slaughtering the innocent recognize that their only remaining hope of pulling off a come-from-way-behind win is to convince your senator and your congressman or -woman that it's politically expedient to hand a default victory to a defeated al Qaeda.

I thought we were past the "last throes" b.s.

Strike Three?

You all know I am a fan of the comics. Well, certain comics. I keep my complaints about the general suckitude of today's comics to myself, but I had to get your feedback on this one.

Normally the comic B.C. is not funny. It hasn't been funny since...well, I've been assured that it was once quite revolutionary. At least when Hart was still drawing it, you could see how a comic might make sense, if you were a deranged, right-wing, public-school hating Christian that believed that the Jews had never properly paid for killing Jesus.

But since Hart died, nothing in that comic makes sense. I offer today's comic as an example:

In panel one, we have a batter being distracted by the blimp. Which could set up the "punchline" that follows if the batter was called out or something because he wasn't paying attention. Except, the pitch coming at the batter is clearly a ball. Except, except, I think that panel two is supposed to indicate that the batter was actually beaned by the pitch, which should mean that the batter takes a base.

Now the "joke" in panel two is, I think, supposed to be that the coach's team is so bad, as indicated by the scoreboard, that he can only think something along the lines of "Why me?" (I would also accept "Good grief," "Bumstead!," or "Ah, Ziggy, will you ever win?") The "joke" is "funny" because the lament "Why me?" is, here, rendered in terms of a famous saying, only bent to fit the particulars of this situation. Granted, bent in such a manner as to render it unintelligible.

Except (a lot of that today), being beaned by a pitch is a good thing. You take a base. Possibly the first one this team has taken today. Which means that a punchline along the lines of "Best play he's made all day!" wouldn't be necessarily "funny," but I'll bet any one a dollar that it's "funnier."

I expect that maybe this was the original idea behind the joke, except maybe the cartoonist thought that maybe we wouldn't "get" it, because you have to know the rules of baseball. So, instead, he decided to go with "makes no sense to any one."

Unless, and this just occurred to me while I was writing, the "joke" is that the batter made no attempt to get out of the way of the ball, so he doesn't get to take a base. So by looking at the blimp, he doesn't get to take the base and he got beaned for no reason. Which would be, in a word, hilarious.

Anyone got any better ideas about this, as a far as what "Mason" might have been thinking when he drew this?

Progressive Discipline Indeed

Apparently, in the Army, beating a captive with an aluminum baseball bat is an offense worthy of a stern letter of reprimand.

I will remember this during grievance hearings.

All In a Day's Work, pt. 2

All In a Day's Work

Islamofascism = Pacificism (Duh!)

A funny bit from SadlyNo!.

The Baron Bodissey posts the following disturbing news from a Russian correspondent who reports that violent radical Islamists have made a secret alliance with degenerate violence-hating hippies. Let’s read, shall we?

Recently we have observed an unexpected convergence of the Left-pacifists with Islamists on many issues. However, if one looks critically at the Pacifist movement, one will find many resemblances between that and Islam. Those resemblances may point at intrinsic ideological similarities between both movements.

I can’t wait to see where he goes with this. Hardcore Islamists are against drinking, drugs and women’s rights; hardcore hippies like to get high and boink a lot. Something tells me there’s not going to be too much common ground here.

However, the important difference between the two political movements is that Islamism has its principles in writing, whereas Pacifism has not developed any final version of its principles. UN declarations can be thought of as rough drafts, but they haven’t achieved their final form yet.

So one key difference is that one group has a set of principles while the other one doesn’t. Got. Cha.

Below I have listed some of those similarities:

1. Islam requires Jihad, which is the struggle to spread Islam all over the world. Pacifism requires struggle for Peace all over the world.

And McDonald’s requires the struggle to sell shitty food all over the world. I guess Grimace and the Hamburglar are part of the Muslamohippiesatanonazi cabal as well?

more

John Cox

If Kucinich earned $5 in Chicago, certainly we can throw $.50 to John Cox for this:

B4B

Baptists for Brownback is hot today.

Cheney Comes Out Against War

In 1994:

Easiest Test Ever

You Are 100% Feminist

You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man). You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.

Are You a Feminist?

Ummm...anyone who is not a 100% feminist needs to take a class with Courtney. Oops, there I go again, shoving my extreme-left agenda down the throats of poor college students.

Goff, try to do something with this on Free Xchange. It would be crantastic.

Mitt and the Kids

Hugh Hewitt defends Romney on the service question by printing his "full" remarks, that somehow absolve him of stupidity. Here they are:

The question is:

How many of your five sons are currently serving in the U.S. military and if none of them are how do they plan to support this war on terrorism by enlisting in our U.S. military?

Romney responded:

The good news is that we have a volunteer Army and that's the way we're going to keep it. My sons are all adults and they've made decisions about their careers and they've chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard.

I also respect and value very very highly those who make the decision to serve in the military. And I think we ought to show an outpouring of support just as I suggested, a surge of support for those families and for those individuals who are serving. My niece, for instance, just to tell you what a neighborhood can do and how touching it can be, my niece Misha --living out west-- her husband, I think he got a call on a Tuesday, he's in the National Guard, he got a call on a Tuesday that he was going to be called up and shipped overseas on a Thursday, and they'd just bought a home, they hadn't landscaped it, but the rules in the neighborhood were that unless you got your home landscaped within a year of the time that you bought your home, they began fining you because they didn't want people having mudholes in front of their homes. And she was very worried, and just before the year expired, she woke up one morning and looked out the window and all the neighbors were out there rolling out sod, putting up trees, getting it all done. It is remarkable how we can show our support for our nation.

One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping to get me elected because they think I'd be a great president (laughter) and my son Josh bought the family Winnibago and has visited 99 counties most of them with his three kids and his wife, and I respect that and all of those and the way they serve this great country.

Question for you all is: Is there any way you could see this quote as anything but stupid? Because many on the right think it's just great.

Also, I saw the opinion that the best thing the average war support can do to support the war is to "fight" the anti-war folks at home, because we're the real insurgents.

A Bedtime Story for the Wee Ones

”Mommy, Why Is That Man Skinning Our Cat?”

Once upon a time, in a city unlike our own, that did not have the Christian moral backbone or abundance of wealth as ours does, lived a little girl named Peggy. Aside from the fact that Peggy wasn’t blessed with a large home in a good neighborhood, she was a very happy little girl. She had good Christian parents who had taught her early on that if you are saved you will go to live with God in Heaven and if you aren’t then you will die a terrible death and burn in HELL. From the time she was four years old little Peggy knew that people who had sexual relations out of wedlock were going to have deformed babies; that all Catholics were not really saved; and homosexuals were just people who had chosen to live a wicked lifestyle but blame it on a genetic deformity.

Therefore, you see, she knew right from wrong much like all of you children do, she just wasn’t given the nice toys and clothes like you all have. Maybe, because her Daddy had done something bad in the past, and Father God was punishing him to work a blue-collar job and barely able to make ends meet. Nevertheless, she was a Christian (Republican Baptist) and that still made her a good little girl even though she looked and dressed like white trash. One day while Peggy’s daddy was at his menial job working on cars or selling shoes, or whatever it is that poor people do for money, Peggy was playing in her back yard with another little girl. I think that perhaps they were playing church with their dolls, because that is what nice girls do with their dolls whether they are playing with Madam Alexander® dolls or Barbie® dolls. I imagine that since Peggy was poor they were playing with cheap knock-off dolls made in China by Godless Orientals.

However, they pretended that their little dolls were Christians and that is all that matters in this story. Well, the girls were just about to play Sunday School Class Meeting when they heard a terrible noise from the small asbestos covered house next door to hers. “What was that!?” the girls cried out dropping their cheap dolls to run over to the fence. “Maybe it’s a sinner we can pray for!” (I told you Peggy was a Christian even if she was poor) and off they ran.

Well, imagine the horror that they must have felt when they reached the chain link fence and could see the next-door neighbor man shaking one of her cat’s little kittens as hard as he could by its feet. (All poor people opt for chain link verses a wooden privacy fence. It’s a known fact and you can see for yourself by driving through a distressed neighborhood sometime) The poor thing was making a dreadful noise and Peggy knew from the sound it made that death was right around the corner for the poor little thing.

You see, poor people are too cheap to have their cats spayed or neutered and usually have about ten running around at any given time. Therefore, she had heard her share of cats being backed over by a car in her neighborhood; chopped to bits for sleeping in the engine; or shot for keeping the neighbors awake with their mating calls in the wee hours of the morn. However, this was something different; this man was purposefully killing this kitten. Scared, the girls took off running to the house and in a flash were inside the screened door (something else that all poor people have to keep a breeze running through their homes because they cannot afford to run the air conditioning) and into the kitchen.

“Mommy, come quick!” she cried, “that man who doesn’t go to church and drinks beer all day is killing one of them kittens!” Now even though Peggy’s mother was poor she did not promote animal cruelty, so she threw down her mop and went running outside with the girls in tow to see just what was happening. Well, by the time, they got back around the house the noise the air was filled with silence. Peggy’s mommy was just about to chastise the girls for making her leave her chores because of their alarmist reactions to nothing, when she saw something that would nearly take the curl out of her home perm: it was the next-door neighbor man and his beer-drinking friends & they were wearing black robes and each holding a dead kitten. One of the men was even a Negro!

“Oh my God!” she cried out. “What are you doing to those poor cats?” It was as if they were in a trance. (A trance is exactly the way a welfare recipient acts when they are told they will have to get a job — they pretend not to hear or see you — it is a state of utter shock) Peggy’s mother tried again to call out to the men but her words fell onto deaf ears (much like a shiftless welfare recipient). She was just about to grab the girls and run inside to call the law on them when the chanting began: “Ahyaiiieee Master Satan in the darkness of below. We worship and follow you for eternity. In the black hooded cloak of sin, we follow you wherever you go. Iyeiiblafiyuru we love you Satan, our Atheist Father of Evil. There is no God. For this, we know. For as Agnostics and Atheists its Hell we’ll want to go.”

The eerily frightening Satanic chants and the hums of nervous atheist sin were just about to lure Peggy’s mother and her little playmate into oblivion when suddenly Peggy shouted, “Mommy! Why is that man skinning our cat?” It was right then that her mother grabbed the two girls by their little arms and ran with them as fast as she could back into the safety of their Christian home.“Honey come here”, her mother said as soon as they were back inside the cheaply appointed but clean kitchen, “Those men are Atheists, and, as you know, Honey, all Atheists will try and tell you that they are not Satanists but they are. Every single one of them kill small animals, and sometimes even little children too, as part of their glorification of the Devil” As the tears began to flow down little Peggy’s cheeks her mother clutched her daughter to her and cried into her hair, “We mustn’t cry now. God doesn’t like weak people. He wants us to big and strong so when He comes down from Heaven to take us home we will have lots of energy saved up to laugh at those Devil worshipping Atheists as he drags them off to Hell.”

Her Christian (Republican Baptist) mother continued, “Remember when Daddy and Pastor Royce told us about how God was going to set fire from the inside out anyone who hated Him and was an Agnostic? Well, that’s what’s going to happen to all of those cat-murdering men. When they least expect it their guts are going to explode and they will suffer eternally until they die. Then, Honey, they will go live in Hell with the rotten, maggot infested flesh-eating sinners that God hated enough to send there. And we can just laugh and laugh!” She then patted her daughter on the rear end and sent her and her playmate into the living room to read Bible stories and have cookies & milk.

Little Peggy and her friend stayed in the living room until Peggy’s daddy came home from his low paying but honest work. (Remember children, even though he made very little money he did work, and, that is a lot more than we can say about those who mooch off the Government) Anyway, Peggy and her little playmate didn’t even notice as her Daddy walked right past them to the gun cabinet and took out a clip and his favorite gun. “Girls, he said, “Poppa God and me want you to see a miracle. Come outside with me and stand on the porch.” Well, being the obedient little girls they were they stood silently as Peggy’s Daddy walked over to the mean Atheist/Satanist’s house and began shooting round after round into his front window.”

Oh, how little Peggy and her friend enjoyed this. They loved watching Peggy’s father pump round after round of bullets into the hovel next door, the Godly and powerful sound of the gun and even more, they enjoyed when the Devil worshipper neighbor man stumbled out the picture window and his chest exploded from the gunfire. They clapped and they praised Jesus that the mean man was getting what he deserved for killing Miss Fluffy and her babies.

“Daddy?” she said when the gunfire had stopped, “I wish all Atheists would get what that man did.” Looking at his daughters glowing face, her father wiped at a tear that was forming in his eye and said to her, “Baby Girl, as long as we have faith in our Lord, so long as we have Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, and the NRA running our country, and the Second amendment protected, anything can happen. Just keep on praying that our next president will have the guts to keep us Christians safe from those kind of people.”

The End

As a Pro-Life, Pro-Family, Pro-America, Christian-Republican, Sam Brownback would never kill a cat and neither should you.

Vote for Sam Brownback in 2008 and again in 2012 to protect America and our cats from Atheists!

Worst Toupee Ever

LOL Mother-in-law

Hope this doesn't go "too far." Thought you'd find it funny.

Now This Is Snark

Wonkette

Smokin' Crack, Workin' for Mitt

“Tonight’s Democratic presidential pander-fest was a prime example of why Senator Clinton, Senator Obama and the rest of the chorus on stage are unprepared to lead the country and unwilling to change the status quo in Washington.

“The Democrats were pessimistic and passed on any opportunity to offer real solutions, choosing instead to just unload shrill rhetoric. Each and every Democratic candidate advocated wrong-way policies that would expand the size of government, spend more taxpayer money and weaken the national security posture of our country.”

-Kevin Madden, spokesman for the Romney for President campaign

Dem Debate Winners Declared, Candidates Ranked

1. Kucinich

2. Richardson

3. Clinton

4. Obama

5. Dodd

6. Edwards

7. Biden

Dem Debate Part 3

Speed debating:
No Richardson/Cheney ticket.

Clinton wants an ethical WH, just like we had under Bill.

Obama, meh.

If he says trial lawyers rig the system for you...no.

Why the 'f' would you put a Republican in charge of dick?

Dodd, dud.

Kucinich is allowed to go over time.

Obama handled the Bonds question about as well as it could be handled.

Clinton has a plan with multiple points. Shocking.

I hate those Washington insiders. Like Obama.

Don't ask cleverly worded questions. They don't get it.

I admire Dodds confidence that Dems could pass a "no confidence" vote against Bush, but I'm skeptical.

Edwards answers a completely different question. Again.

DENNIS!

Dem Debate Part 2

Oh, that's why I'm not seeing purple everywhere.

Biden still wants to talk about Pakistan. And this is why we love union folks. You ignore our questions (no matter how dumb) and you get booed.

DENNIS! DENNIS! DENNIS!

Richardson is asked an impossible question, so he decides to answer a completely different question. Hero Health Card. Brilliant.

Dodd will eliminate hypocrisy if he become president.

Edwards throws out some red meat.

Is anyone going to ask Clinton about the union-buster on her staff?

I don't think Obama knows how to talk to union people. Red meat, not substance.

Biden knows what it's like to be a nurse because he's been in the hospital. Biden goes after Johnny-boy.

DENNIS!

Biden gets spanked again.

Clinton: The problem with NCLB is that it was underfunded and not implemented properly?

Dem Debate Part 1

Infrastructure:

Joe Biden...big advocate for bridge repair. And the 9-11 Commission.

Will John Edwards ever answer the question he is fucking asked? He's got balls attacking lobbyist money at a union debate. Damn special interests.

I likey me some Kucinich.

Trade:

Clinton is for fair trade, but seemingly also in favor of freer trade.

Richardson panders...effectively.

Obama weakly answers.

Biden declares war on Mexico and Canada.

Dodd panders...less effectively.

Edwards goes after Clinton.

Kucinich knows he's at a union rally.

China:
Richardson goes for more of the same.

Obama does well with the deficit argument.

Clinton and Biden would like you to remember that they hate China. Wow, Hillary went pretty hardcore there.

Dodd, realizing what the people are applauding says more of the same.

Edwards wants to pretend that Hillary didn't already attack China.

Kucinich rocks!

Break:
So far Kucinich is kicking much ass. My checkbook is out, how much will the check be for?

Iraq:

Missed Richardson

This hypothetical is silly. "Let's just say everything we know is wrong, because it's possible that the 60% shit'te population might turn the country over to Al Queda, which has shown no inclination to be a political party, what would you do then?"

Obama got the best of the Obama-Dodd exchange.

Hillary got booed. Like it. I also like the fact that she said she doesn't like hypotheticals and, yet, she enthusiastically answered the previous hypothetical.

Break:
Is it me, or is Edwards getting nothing? This should be his crowd, but I don't think he's having much of an impact.

Registered Sex Offenders

As some of you know, I am not a big fan of the sex offender registry. I find it objectionable that the government publishes the current address of people who once committed a crime. I wonder if sex offenders will be the end of it. Don't I have the right to know if a "habitual" drug dealer/user lives in my neighborhood? Burglar? Shoplifter? I have seen friends and wives of mine pouring over the registry in Oregon looking for "offenders" in the neighborhood. I have mildly raised objections and been shouted down. What do my friends who are fans of this type of registries think about the following?

From LGM:

Due Process for Me But Not for Thee

I can't think of a less sympathetic group to defend than sex offenders. But here I go.

TalkLeft had a post up the other day about the predicament in which many former sex offenders find themselves once they have served their sentences and are released into communities that don't want them. From TChris:

Here's a Catch-22 for you: Laws regulating where former sex offenders may live are so restrictive that, in urban areas, former offenders can find no housing (forcing them, in this famous example, to live under a bridge). But former sex offenders have to register their addresses, and the homeless have no address to register. So if they find a home, they're breaking the law by living too close to (for instance) a park or school; if they remain homeless, they're breaking the law by not registering.

Which all seems hypothetical. Until it's not. Larry Moore, a convicted sex offender who successfully served his time in prison for a 1994 offense, was convicted last week of failing to register his address. Because he was homeless. Because the laws, which restrict where he can live, left him nowhere he was able tolive. In Georgia, where he was convicted, this second conviction carries a mandatory life sentence.

Mr. Moore is one of 15 former sex offenders who have been arrested for homelessness since the law requiring their registration took effect in July. He registered twice after the law went into effect but was unable to maintain a permanent address because he could not afford, on his salary from Popeye's chicken, to pay for a hotel room indefinitely. And he couldn't find a home that fit within the law's narrow parameters.

Now, there's no doubt that sex offenses are serious. But once a person has completed his sentence, he has paid his debt. His punishment is supposed to be up. Yet these laws continue to punish people -- indeed, robbing them of their due process rights by making it impossible for them to live without violating the law. Either they're too close to a school or church or they're homeless and thus cannot register. And, the ACLU (which has challenged GA's sex offender registry law before)is arguing in Mr. Moore's case, sending a man to jail for life because he is homeless amounts to cruel and unusual punishment in violation of the Eighth Amendment.

As TChris notes (and I agree), the combination of laws restricting where sex offenders can live and requiring them to register drive them off the map and underground . . . or directly back into prison. Which perhaps was the GA legislature's intent. But it's not in keeping with the Constitution.

Open from 9 am to 11:38 am

A GTF comes in to deal with health insurance. She has to pay, but has no money. She goes across the street to get some cash. Comes back 5 minutes later, pokes her head through the door, looks a the three of us sitting at our desks, and asks, "You guys still open?"

Worst. Excuse. Ever.

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Weekend

I spent the weekend at the Oregon AFL-CIO Summer School. I learned many, many new and interesting things. My stories are much better shared with you in person than online, so ask uncle Dave to tell you them sometime, but I did want to relay a few things.

Tom "Kicking Ass for the Working Class" Chamberlain was on fire. My notes reflect that at one point I thought he was either channeling Will Ferrel or was as high as a kite. Those that remember the very stiff TC would not have recognized the jokester I saw. The part where TC explained that the bosses were trying to use gender, race, and ethnicity to divide the workers was priceless. Just as I was thinking that he was telling us these things like he just found out about this, he said "There have been lots of books written about this." Tom recommend this.

At one point in my workshop on Immigration Laws and the Mobile Workplace, one attendee suggested that if you want to talk about crime we should talk about Enron and corporate crime. She went on to assert that no illegal immigrant had ever committed a crime as large as Enron. She was immediately challenged with something like this, "Well, the illegal immigrants that committed 9-11, that was worse." Which is an interesting way to think about it.

A discussion about "Big Labor" led to this a discussion about who, exactly was Big Labor. Hoffa was thought of immediately, although it was asserted that he was a UAW guy. An organizer from SEIU told us that whenever someone brings up "Big Labor" she just tells them that it's not that way anymore. For instance, her union president is democratically elected. Chosen by the workers themselves.

Two Thoughts, Both Valid

I think we truly have forgotten 9-11.

If it's brown, flush it down. If it's black, send it back.

My Day So Far

I've had a frustrating phone conference, left a condescending comment on a friend's blog, and sent a lame-wad e-mail that can only come back to haunt me.

Day not going well, but then I ran across this:



The Right-Cross of Justice to the rescue!

A Toughie

I'm trying to decide which of the three categories of John Kerry e-mail that I receive bothers me the most.

There's the John Kerry-as-elder-statesman e-mail.

Today we're closer than ever to passing a federal hate crimes law that includes sexual orientation and gender identity - the Matthew Shepard Act. I've supported this effort from the start because it's the right thing to do.

But we're not there yet. We haven't yet, as we committed to do that night, insured that "the lesson of Matthew Shepard is not forgotten." Right now, my colleagues in the Senate are being barraged with calls and emails from anti-gay groups. It's horrifying that the right wing would pick this of all issues to be against - but it's happening.

Urge your Senators to vote YES on the Matthew Shepard Act.

Then there's the John Kerry-I-still-have-to-raise-money e-mail.

Hello David,

I know you receive too many emails from politicians asking for money, especially this time of year. But I wish like hell there was a way to convey that this really is different. This week, Tom Daschle encouraged you to help our friend Senator Tim Johnson on his road back to the Senate (in case you missed it, I'm including his message below).

Then there's the John Kerry-not-a-politician-just-thought-you-might-want-to-help e-mail.

The money raised will go to the Jimmy Fund. Anyone who grows up in New England knows all about the Jimmy Fund. As a New Englander, I still remember those photos in the newspaper and those ads between innings -- the images of our heroes Ted Williams and Yaz asking each of us to pitch in to help children struggling to beat cancer. There's a reason The Jimmy Fund sign is there on The Green Monster in Fenway Park, a fact which will be brought home to all of us in Red Sox Nation when Jon Lester pitches from the Fenway mound for the first time very soon on his own courageous comeback journey. This is an outstanding charity that has done decades of important work, and last year this race represented a full 50% of the income of the Jimmy Fund. So this is a very important event for a cornerstone organization in our fight against cancer.

Please help me support the Jimmy Fund.

Of course, I still receive these e-mails for the rare gem like this.

I've worn a yellow "Live Strong" bracelet since I was given my first one at a rally in Sioux City, Iowa by a woman I will never forget. It's a reminder to me of how lucky I am, and how much more work we need to do.

the man is still proud of his LiveStrong bracelet. He's just a lovable dork after all.

Poly Ticks Con Test

I subscribe to both Republican and Democrat mailing lists, state and national. I received this one today from a candidate announcing that he's running for office. By way of introducing himself, he gave me a little background. Can you guess his party affiliation? Why that one?

I began my life in the small town of Myrtle Creek, Oregon, where my dad was a millwright at a lumber mill. When the mill closed, we moved to Roseburg, a Southern Oregon town where wood products were king. Like people in so many towns throughout Oregon, folks in Roseburg knew the value of hard work, honesty and strong families.

While still in grade school, my dad got a job as a heavy equipment mechanic in Portland. He took me to the grade school and said "Those doors are the doors to opportunity. Study hard and you can pursue any dream." My father passed away earlier this year, and now my wife Mary and I are trying to teach our two kids to value hard work and education the way he always did.

That's what my career in public service has always been about -- opening doors to new opportunities for all Oregonians. The opportunity to learn and succeed. The opportunity to get decent medical care and live healthy lives. The opportunity to earn a decent wage that can support a family.

B00Bs!

I'm getting a little bit sick of having boobs shoved in my face when I am surfing around the internets. I am sure we all are. I am also well aware of why my adoring "lady" readers might have a bigger (ha ha!) problem than I do with this, but I am formally going on record as finding it disgusting that just about any product advertised at me involves some woman with giant brestesses. Now this might make sense if I was looking for porn or porn-related materials. Or even when I am exploring the darker side of the internets, as in when I have missed an episode of Lost and I turn to the torrentspy.com. I understand that it is generally young men that are using that site and young men might be readily tempted into clicking on an ad that promises them the giddy thrill of watching two women and 13 inches of molded latex. My objection, however, is to the casual use of breasts to "attract" me to products that are in no way breast-related on websites that are sex neutral.

I offer this as an example of what I mean:

This ad is often featured on the Yahoo! fantasy baseball site. I understand that this is a "guy" site, but still. Why is it necessary that this young lady have the giant breasts? Are there just enough dumbasses that somehow think that by becoming a product tester that they might have a chance with a "hot" young lady like this? For attention-getting? The offer of a free Mac, her pretty face, none of this is good enough? I need enhanced breasts to be involved before I'll look at your ad.

I am doubly disturbed by sites that have ads for snarky t-shirts that also rely strictly on the large-breasted women advertising their shirts.
Again, why? Am I more likely to notice or buy a shirt because the woman who advertised it was well-endowed? What really unnerves me is the causal nature of the whole thing. I doubt that the website owner demanded large-breasted women. I doubt that the t-shirt manufacturer demanded large-breasted women. Did they specify this at the photo shoot? Whose idea was this that only big boobs would make the cut for the ads.

Obviously, this is tired ground. Just wanted to go on record with my objection.

Boobs.

Boobs.

Boobs.