The World Needs Ditch Diggers, Too

Organically Grown

Make It Rain Like That

Dreaming the Dream

Some days I wish I had a real boss, just so I could share with him or her my bathrooming needs.

Electric Twanger

As I mentioned earlier, I've spent a decent portion of the weekend watching '80s videos in alphabetical order, so I think I speak from a position of some authority when I say the '80s produced little that was absurdly awesome as this:



Of course, I still identify with the kid, especially with my overt distaste of all things Boomer, but as the father of a thirteen year old, I can also sympathize to a certain degree with father. Lord knows the possibility of having your son turn into Dee Snider would be pretty terrifying and could drive a man to all sorts of tantrum throwing. The lesson here, of course, that when we act based on our fears, we can sometimes make those very apprehensions come true. Is there nothing Twisted Sister can't teach us?

Long Weekend

VH1 Classic is showing every video from the '80s in alphabetical order. Well, maybe not every video, but it's pretty thorough.

We're on Love Stinks, you should grab a slice.

Gusts Up to 75 MPH

By Any Means Necessary

I Swear to G*d

Good times in the R-G mailbag this week.

On May 15th, the R-G ran a story about Jimmy Marr, a Springfield man having his personalize license plate recalled by the state because someone complained it had an anti-Semitic message. His license plate read "NO ZOG" a reference to the belief that the Zionist Occupation Government runs, not so much Israel, but the world, through their control of the banks, media, and most fast food franchises. His truck was spotted at a Phoenix, Oregon gathering of neo-Nazis*, and a Medford teacher complained, so the state recalled the plate.

“This got by us the first time and didn’t trigger any” controversy, DMV spokesman David House said. “But we got a complaint about it and discovered that it is an anti-Jewish message.”
...
House said a nine-member panel of state officials reviewed the matter and decided — after doing a bit of Internet research — to recall Marr’s plate.

They sent Marr a letter last week informing him of the ruling.

“It was a pretty easy call,” House said. “All you have to do is Google it to see what it means. And members of the targeted group know what it means.”

I read the article at the time, but didn't think much of it. Idiot has his plate recalled for being an asshole.

The first letter to the editor in support of Jimmy Marr was a classic. Not in the sense that it was great, but that it was a favorite argument of mine from way back. Some of you may know that I spent some time in grad school studying the Mother's Movement, a group of pro-fascist women opposed to US involvement in WWII. Most of the group was deeply anti-Semitic and I spent several Saturday afternoons in Portland reading obscure anti-Semitic newsletters. After the war, as the Birchers got rolling, it was easy for these women to transition into the anti-UN, anti-Israel movement. When accused of being anti-Semites, they often countered that since Palestinians were Semitic, they couldn't possibly be anti-Semitic, but it was, rather, Israel that was anti-Semitic what with their policy of killing Palestinians. Much like the blacks are racist because they voted for Obama thinking of today.

Justin Harris comes oh-so-close to making the "Jews are the real anti-Semites" argument, but since he seems to think Palestinians are Arab, he kind of fumbles it:

Anti-Zionism is not anti-Jewish

The “No Zog” license plate is not anti-Semitic or anti-Jewish; it is anti-Zionist (Register-Guard, May 15). The Zionists are a group, not the entire Jewish people.

Jimmy Marr obviously takes exception to the Zionist platform to remove all Arab Palestinians from all Israel territory, including the Gaza Strip and West Bank. He believes the continuous police state that the Palestinian people live under is equivalent to occupation. He is exercising his free speech. In Oregon we don’t call it bashing, we call it thinking.

Mark Pitcavage of the Anti-­Defamation League also confuses the issues by inferring that anyone who uses the acronym in support of the Palestinian people is of the extreme right, whereas it is the fundamental Zionist approach that all lands written of in the Bible belong to Israel; only that is an extreme right position. Thomas Aquinas famously said, “Beware the man of one book.”

Citing sources that disparage a free-Palestine supporter while also presuming the blamelessness of the Zionist movement (all Jewish persons are not all Zionists) is like the pot calling the kettle black.

Maybe the Anti-Defamation League is a hate group.

Using the term anti-Semitic in a bold headline, like terrorists and terrorism, becomes ineffectual when used in a deceptive manner. The tone of the article suggests that Marr is guilty of something criminal in the forum of public opinion. I believe the article borders on abuse of journalism’s standard of ethics.

Justin Harris

Springfield

It was good, but Justin and Jimmy must have not thought it went far enough, because today Jimmy hit the back pages with his own stirring defense of himself and the purity of his beliefs with this gem, which I am sure will be memorized and recited by school children all across this great land long after the ZOG is dead:

Who elected Google?

My “NO ZOG” license plates have been recalled (Register-Guard, May 15). I’d like my fellow Oregonians to help me figure out who is responsible for this. David House, spokesman for the state Driver and Motor Vehicle Services division, said, “It was a pretty easy call. All you have to do is Google it to see what it means.”

Who elected Google Corp. to define meaning for Oregonians? Do Oregonians lack the capacity for critical thinking? Do Oregonians need a multinational corporation to identify “hate” for them in their own backyards? Where and who is this omniscient oracle? Let’s follow the “yellow brick road” of money and see what Oz looks like when we peel back his curtain of anonymity.

Google Corp. is owned by investors in the New York Stock Exchange. Does the demographic composition of investors in the New York Stock Exchange mirror the demographic composition of taxpayers in Oregon? Or does it more nearly resemble the demographic composition of Zion?

If you answered yes to the last question, you have identified one aspect of the Zionist Occupation Government. By doing so, you have become a neo-Nazi, an anti-Semite, a white supremacist.

If you don’t believe me, Google it. That’s what your government does.

Jimmy Marr

Springfield

Now, I guess there is always the possibility that one can misread the written word, reading the wrong tones, miss the proper shading, whathaveyou, but I read the second sentence of that next-to-last paragraph sarcastically. Did you? I mean, I think Jimmy wants me to agree with him that investors in the New York Stock Exchange are Jewish Zionists and that, through their control of the Google, they have fixed it so that a Google search of the perfectly innocent acronym ZOG** reveals that it is some kind of anti-Semitic slur, rather than the good wholesome - American - decrying of Zionists controlling Palestine and/or the world. Once I have agreed with Jimmy that this is the most likely explanation, I am now outraged, shocked, and appalled that someone would imply that this obvious conclusion would lead someone to label me, me!, an anti-Semite, neo-Nazi, and/or a white supremacist. How dare they!

I guess it's possible that Jimmy is just straight up trying to recruit anti-Semites into the white supremacist movement. But, while that makes more sense, it is much less likely.

Anyway, next up will be the expected round of letters bemoaning the anti-Semitism that flourishes in our society. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but somewhere along the way someone will advocate that anti-anti-Semitism should be a mandatory course of study in the schools which will just give the Springfield Jimmys more ammo. I also look forward to George Beres' straight up anti-Semitism, which will no doubt include a rant about the Register Guard being anti-Palestinian because they published the anti-anti-Semitism letters.

Will the R-G go so far as to publish the Holocaust denial letter that someone is undoubtedly writing right now? Oh, the fun we'll have. And, yes, it appears that Jimmy Marr was a member of the Pacifica Forum, so we got that in there too.

All of which is, unfortunately, more mileage for Jimmy's asinine beliefs than a stupid obscure license plate could ever have gotten him. Thanks again, Register-Guard, for being a fine citizen of the community.


*The original newspaper article claimed this was a gathering of neo-Nazis, so the claim is suspect of course, but let me assure you that in my attempt to find a link to this article I came across many "white pride" sites and I did not see a-one disputing the "neo-Nazi" assertion.

**The ZOG seems to be slipping, as a Google seach for the term brings up, in order, 1. The wikipedia page linked above. 2. ZogSports - The NYC sports league for young professionals. 3. A neo-Nazi site. 4. Dr. Zog - an original, high energy, Austin, Texas band that combines Lousiana Zydeco, New Orleans funk, Texas Blues and Southern jamband grooves. 5. The Zionist dictionary which (finally) reveals that ZOG is an anti-Semitic slur.

Seasonville

Any of the regulars/old timers mind if I start publishing old Seasonvilles here? Some of my newer friends don't know it and it still makes me giggle. Anyone?

Speak now, or...

Lesson, Learned

Andrew Breitbart, founder of my favorite wingnut website wrote a column for the WaTimes entitled I, Jerk in which he recounts a recent incident wherein he was trying his best to spend a Sunday hotel brunch getting buzzed with the wife, only to be interrupted by about 300 college kids holding some sort of protest outside of the hotel. Like any good wingnut, Andrew is a seething ball of rage ready to confront the America haters given any opportunity. In response to one of the protesters holding up his fist, Breitbart rushed to the hotel balcony and held up his middle finger. Here, I'll let Breitbart tell it - and remember, this is 300 or so college students protesting he-doesn't-know-what:

...when one dude raised his fist like runners Tommie Smith and John Carlos did at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics, I could not hold myself back. I jumped from my seat and bolted to the center of the balcony, where the American flag waved furiously in a now-harsh wind. Positioned next to Old Glory, I countered the young punk and reached out my right arm directing my middle finger in his direction.

As soon as my finger was raised, a phalanx of photographers began snapping away at the white middle-aged man wearing a white LaCoste shirt next to the old red, white and blue. Cognizant of the power of imagery, I owned the moment and refused to back down. The fist wielder immediately dropped his arm. I clearly had won and envisioned photos of the anti-antiwar protester making the front pages of the Los Angeles Times.

Another victory for the good and decent Americans! Someone willing to throw the finger to people exercising their right to protest! Righteous. Except, oopsie, the protest was really about the abduction and forced military servitude of young kids in the Congo.

Breitbart uses his column to tell this amusing anecdote and not much more, as no lesson about flying off at the handle seems to be in order. Just a funny mea culpa.

What I love about the commenters at Big Hollywood is that I know that they are not going to read this story and find it to be anything other than proof that the liberals are destroying this country. Reaction comes in four schools.

1. Great apology. A liberal would never admit he made an error, only a conservative would admit he made a mistake and tell the world about. Forgive yourself, already.

2. If liberals weren't out protesting things all the time, then Breitbart wouldn't have made this mistake. If you see someone protesting something, it's a good bet they need a flipping off.

3. Why are people protesting/demonstrating about something that is happening in Africa? Do they really think interrupting the brunches of those in Santa Monica is doing something good? If they care so much, why aren't they in Africa doing something about it?

4. The demonstrators should have done a better job making what they were protesting about more clear, so as to avoid a flipping off from a drunken Andrew Breitbart in the future.

That's it. Not one word about how sometimes the young people might know what they are talking about and rather than just jumping to the conclusion that they are all a bunch of know-nothings, maybe we should hear what they have to say and be educated. Nope, not at Big Hollywood.

Nothing to See Here

This is one hell of a sentence:

As police union leaders who have bargained the contractual impacts of the implementation of an external police auditor system, and who are in the process of filing multiple contractual grievances and state-regulated unfair labor practice complaints regarding those impacts, we constantly espouse to those outside the police union sphere to try to approach this realm from a neutral perspective.

Reading the full article, I think that were supposed to ignore the fact that the local cops are acting like dicks and doing whatever they can to stop the voter-imposed public oversight system. Because calling them dicks is not neutral. Pointing out the rapes is not neutral. Pointing out the whitewashing of cops punching handcuffed suspects in the face is not neutral. Pointing out that the pigs went out of their way to vote a cop "Officer of the Year" while he is under investigation by the police auditor, that would not be neutral.

Certainly, saying "Fuck the police" would not be neutral and should not be done while the police are in the process of delaying the implementation of a neutral oversight system for as long as possible.

Merde

That HBO Latino is broadcasting Maradona, la mano di Dio right now makes me desperately wish I had taken Spanish instead of French.

Looks like it's you and me, again, Jason Bourne.

Impromtu Championships

Taking a flier and taking the family to the Pac 10 Track and Field Championships this weekend at Hayward Field. Had nothing to do this weekend, so why not? It's supposed to be nice out (80 F). Hopefully, 5.5 hours together each day will not be more than we can handle.

Last time I was at Hayward was when I was a kid. Don't remember much about it, other than I have a vague feeling I liked it. No idea why we didn't go back. Maybe should have talked to my dad about this before I took the plunge.

Maybe you'll get some hot live blogging action.

I 8 U

No matter how many beers you drink, what good movie you watch, or how much snuggling you do with the wife the night before, when you wake up all your problems are still right there. I'm talking the big ones here: the economy, the weak-ass president we have, swine flu ummm...Nancy Pelosi knew about some aspect of the Bush torture regime but didn't do anything about it, like call for Congressional investigations which totally should never happen, but maybe she should face a Congressional investigation for not calling for one, am I right here people?

You wake up on Saturday and all the world's problems are still right there.

Then you read the letters section of the Register Guard, and some kind soul has taken the time to solve all of our problems. Read. Understand. And know that everything is going to be alright.

Look for a new economy

As soon as the tax and interest and unemployment rates all level off at 8 percent and lower, the economy embarks upon a long extended era of clear sailing such as no civilization on Earth has ever known.

History never predicted people would suddenly envision such an outcome.

Clear seas, clear sailing, a powerful economy quickly restarted and firmly under control. All the parts still in place and functioning. All the people striving together, fulfilling their potentials. The sounds of song and laughter spilling out beneath the nighttime skies.

An old economy grinds to a stop. The abstract details of a new economic era stretch before us, like the first turns highlighted on a GPS readout, outlining the beginning of the next leg of the journey.

Personally, I am keeping a watch to see the tax rate and interest and unemployment rates all come together at 8 percent and lower.

For me, that is the first sign of entering the new economy.

Nancy I. Campbell

Yoncalla

As my good buddy Lex might say, Boom!

Lower the tax rate from 36% to 8% (or lower!) and you are going to have some good times on your hands. No more government waste, no more bloated bureaucracy, no more, well anything from those fat cats in Washington.

The relatively high interest rates keep the poor people, who obviously don't know how to manage their money, from borrowing any to buy goods they don't really need, but also makes sure that those who do loan money - to the right sort - make a healthy profit. This encourages leading - smart lending - and big profits.

The relatively high unemployment rate means that people will work for the wages they deserve, not some over-inflated wage gained by the government manipulating the labor market by working for low unemployment. And once those government workers hit the pavement looking for honest work, wages are going to plummet to what are their natural, moonlight-dancing levels.

Oh happy day indeed!

For Malonee

Bet

It's on like Donkey Kong

Sorry About the Light Posting

I've been sick.

Speaking of which, here's some Droopy. I hope it tides you over.

The Cover Up Was Great

I'm sorry that all my former GTFF colleagues were not there, as they missed what had to be one of the great nights on GTFF history.

Eleven bands rocked the place, each one very good. Even music I didn't personally like was done well enough that I enjoyed it. We packed Luckey's. We don't have exact numbers, but we estimate from the gate that we had 250 to 300 people in the joint. If you all have been in Luckey's before, you can imagine that there was not an inch of room to spare.

Most importantly, we took $1600 from the gate for Food for Lane County. With What PacficSource had donated on out behalf, we raised $2600 or 15,600 pounds of food for our community. Not bad for a bunch of snot-nosed unionists.

Hopefully see you all next year, when I will definitely be shouting some Nirvana, or maybe Mudhoney, lyrics.

EW LOTW (Bits)

Bits of several letters to the Eugene Weekly caught my attention, but no one letter was worthy of LOTW status. Here you are:

A lesbian is a woman who loves women romantically. Why do they do this? Contemporary science and psychology are undecided, but it doesn’t really matter.

The wealthier citizens among us tend to use a lot more electricity, heating oversized homes to 80 degrees, washing clothes after a single wearing, etc.

While riding my bicycle northbound on Olive Street about a half block from 5th Avenue I was dangerously passed on the left by a PT Cruiser which then proceeded to turn right into the Post Office loading dock area. I thought this to be strange because postal workers don't drive so dangerously.

“All they that live by the sword shall perish with the sword.” (Matthew 26:52) Too bad our Christian dominated society doesn’t live by its own scriptures. Every weapon ever made eventually gets used. Often with disastrous results.

I would like to quote directly from Congressman Peter DeFazio's newsletter dated April 2009. "I opposed the repeal of the Roosevelt era Glass-Steagall Act, which kept Wall Street investment companies from intermingling with banking institutions."
As a retired economics instructor, I have been waiting for someone to address this issue ever since the Wall Street house of cards fell.

That's it. Good day.

Do I Even Need to Mention the Fascism Angle?

I was going to write about this Washington Times article that asserts:

The further irony is that the United Auto Workers, which extracted the featherbed contracts a quarter of a century ago that doomed GM and Chrysler, will now hold a majority stake in Chrysler and a slightly smaller stake in GM.

And point out that, while I don't know everything about the UAW and the auto industry, I am very surprised to learn that UAW was negotiating sweetheart deals as late as 1984. If it could be said that any union contract "doomed" GM and Chrysler (but, oddly enough, not Ford) it would be fairer to say those contracts were negotiated more than a half-century ago, but that takes some of the sting out of the idea that the current workers/retirees from the Big Three are to blame for present day ills.

But then I read this comment and I realized that rational argument was not going to matter:

My Dad had a Fiat spyder when he was stationed @ Annapolis after Vietnam. He used to curse as only a Naval officer can about what an abject piece of crap it was. Then, he'd go inside & tell my Mom that since she was Italian, SHE should go out there & start it. It started every time for her. Doubt they've changed much since then. PS. I wouldn't buy LEMONADE from President Nero, let alone a car.

Yes, because your mother succeeded where your father failed, it is pretty obvious that Fiat is a bad car company. Screw Obama.

Mind, Not What It Was

It took me too long to put together that the Charli Carpenter that blogs at Duck of Minerva, and is guest blogging at LGM, is the same Charli Carpenter that served on the Board at 3544. Always nice to see a GTFFer make good.

Second Best Birthday Gift This Year

The Bellman gave us all this, but I appreciate it a hell of a lot.

There is a person in this world willing to argue, in public, that she would support gay marriage, if it were not for what it might do to further erode the African American community.

If that sentence makes no sense to you, take the three minutes to read the blog post.

I Say It's My Birthday

I'm 37.

"I'm not one to blow smoke up my skirt"

That from Joe the Plumber's interview with Christianity Today.

Other choice bits:

I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they're people, and they're going to do their thing.


Who do you see as the emerging Christian leaders?
James Dobson.


I like Sarah Palin a lot, actually. I just don't know if that's where God's leading her. I just know the Republican Party's done its best to blackball her. I don't know what her agenda is. If she ran, would I vote for her? Absolutely. John McCain was the lesser of two evils.


All these people were saying just god-awful things about me. I mean, I'm not one to blow smoke up my skirt, but I think I'm a pretty nice guy and I'm not used to people saying that kind of thing about me. It really hurt.

h/t: Wolcott

Finally, Schumer and I Are on the Same Page

My worst fear? A public health system that runs so smoothly and cheaply that it puts for-profit health care out of business. Thank God for Chuck Schumer.

My second worst fear? That in order to provide basic health care for everyone in this country, we cut into the profits of doctors and hospitals. Thank God someone - Chuck Schumer - is finally thinking of the struggling medical professionals in this country.

My third worst fear? That an out-of-control Democrat Supermajority rams a lot of leftist legislation down our throats. Thank God for Chuck Schumer and his brave band of moderate visionaries who will do whatever it takes to make sure that if things do get better in this country, it is only by a little bit and none too fast.

John Tyler, Right-wing Extremist

The Register-Guard ran a guest viewpoint from some right-wing extremist railing about the DHS report on right-wing extremism in the US in the paper yesterday. Hilarious stuff, if only because John Tyler clearly doesn't see himself as a right-wing extremist and then proceeds to prove step-by step that he is, indeed, crazy a right-wing extremist.

Let's run through it:

Disgruntled doesn’t begin to describe my fury after reading the recently leaked intelligence and analysis assessment from DHS, headed by Janet Napolitano. Titled “Right-Wing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment,” this nine-page document, dated April 7, 2009, in essence profiles nearly half of U.S. voters.

I'm going to go ahead and not even try to point out that the report was commissioned and complied under Bush, as that is beside the point. The point here is that John seems to think that nearly half of the people of the US are just like him. Who is he? Well:

I happen to believe that abortion of an unborn baby is murder. Late-term and partial-birth abortion is barbaric murder. Only in special cases like rape, incest, or likely death of the mother in childbirth should abortion be considered. Otherwise, I believe Roe vs. Wade should be overturned.

Not even close to half of Americans support overturning Roe v. Wadebut we can agree that being anti-choice does not make for extremism.

I believe God intended marriage to be only between one man and one woman. The Bible says so. Period. Every child needs a father and a mother. Not two mothers, not two fathers. Gays, lesbians, transsexuals, bisexuals, transgendered people, and every other sexual variation possible can have their civil liberties. But it’s my firm position that the claim that there is biblical, moral or legal equivalency of their relationships to my own 42-year marriage is rubbish.

Alright, anti-gay marriage. Probably in the mainstream, although maybe not with all the hate. But, again, no real worries so far.

We will never have national security until we control our borders. An employer who knowingly hires illegals should be fined so much that it dries up that source of jobs or forces them out of business. Targeted inspections should be conducted. Illegals who have falsified their records should be immediately deported, along with their families.

Again, John holds some conservative viewpoints, but nothing for the government to worry about.

President Obama wants to turn this country into a socialist state and is creating a sense of dependency on government to solve all our problems. The average taxpayer will finance it all through redistribution of our wealth — i.e., taking it from those of us who work hard and play by the rules and giving it to those who don’t. Their coming taxation is just a form of legalized theft, codified in law.

Okay, thinking Obama is a socialist and that taxation is codified theft puts you in a small minority. Unless John is just taking talking points and going over the top with them. Nothing that Rush doesn't bray about every day.

Because the entire nation of gun owners and hunters is afraid that the Obama administration is going to find a way around the Constitution, or raise taxes on ammo and guns to the point where no one will be able to afford ownership, or that a national registry law will eventually lead to confiscation. I will never, ever, allow my guns to be confiscated, or registered, by this government.

Okay, now we have a problem. John is telling us that he will not comply with a law passed by the United States Congress? And just how will he "not allow" this imagined registration to take place?

We stockpile food in our pantry and our freezer. I have multiple weapons in my home and lots of ammunition. Connect the dots here: I believe we are in the end times, and I believe in end-time prophesies recorded in the Bible by the Apostle John in Revelation. I could no more dismiss this than I could disavow that Christ came to Earth, was crucified for our sins, and resurrected from the dead, or that his death was the gift of grace that we can never earn.

Now we're officially off our rockers. How a man can write those words and think he is writing for "nearly half of U.S. voters" is beyond me. Well, not beyond me, as I follow politics, so I know that there are extremists out there that think they are mainstream, but Obama and the Dems won the big election because of the media or white guilt or the media or some such crap.

Let me say this plain, you John Tyler, are a right-wing extremist whose political views match approximately 1% of the population of the US. Given your position on guns and the fact that you are preparing for the end times, the government has good reason to worry about you. Not so much because the government needs to fear you - it doesn't - but because you are a danger to the vast majority of people around you. Who knows when you will decide that the forces of Satan have taken over and you need to start blasting away?

And thank God Eugene has a "citizen of its community" that gives this yahoo a platform to rant this bullshit.

Oh, yes. Oklahoma Families, I Know Them Well

I don't think I've every actually read anything by Charles Dickens. I believe I tried to read As I Lay Dying, but couldn't make it very far. No Chaucer, no Austin, and nothing Greek or Roman (well, maybe The Odyssey). All of which makes the fact that I have read two, count 'em, two detective novels by Watergate burglars all the more criminal. Sometime back, I purchased G. Gordon Liddy's novel Out of Control at a garage sale, purely on the speculative notion that one day I might be able to name drop G. Gord and my knowledge of his fiction works. Well, well, little dave3544 makes good. The second read came courtesy the fine folks at Hard Case Crime, who are either desperate for material or have a wicked sense of humor - or both - as they saw fit to reissue E. Howard Hunt's thriller House Dick.

I wish I could tell you which novel is worse. If memory serves, Liddy's was really, very bad. If I am not mistaken, it was written post-Watergate and the novel was clearly an attempt to cash in on the name. Hunt's book was written pre-Watergate, so at least has some credibility. No additionally credibility is earned upon reading the book. It was not good, but it was not so not good as to be good. Well a couple places were, which, I guess is why I am here telling you about it.

The novel was set in Washington, DC and tells the story of hotel detective Pete Novack. It is set I don't know when. I assumed it was the late '50s, when the book was written, but at one point there was a reference to the "the German question" which I took as a reference to the late '30s when one might not know on which side of the German question to fall. Of course, it might be a reference to the important question of Germany joining NATO. I can't say. In a situation sort of like Hammett's Red Harvest, circumstances conspire to prevent the protagonist from getting any sleep, and in it's absence he is forced to rely on his wits and whiskey. All comparisons end there. There are some missing jewels, a dead guy from Indiana, a crooked doctor, and, naturally, a doll.

The passage below is so good that when I read it, I knew I had to share it with you. Page 47, I love you. Hell, it's the reason we're here. A little set-up. Novak had broken up a domestic between the doll and her ex, who was in town looking for those missing rocks. She did not welcome the intrusion, but when he comes back to her room let her know she is too good for the rough stuff, she offers him a drink and lets him in on her scheme to ransom the jewels she has stolen back to their rightful owner.

Here is E. Howard Hunt at his finest:

Novak finished his drink and put down the glass besides the chromed pistol. He stared at it speculatively. The girl got up slowly and came to him. Her hands met behind his neck. "Novak," she murmured. "What's that, Hungarian?"

"Central Europe, anyway. The part that used to change names every two generations. How about Norton? Sounds English, but you don't look it."

Her nose wrinkled. "A booking agent's idea. If I don't look it it's because one grandmother was a full-blooded Osage. The family always called her princess, but you know families. Oklahoma families, anyway."

Her lips were a fraction of an inch away. Novak closed the gap, kissing her bruised lips lightly. Her body clung to his, her hands was doing something with the hair behind his head. Her eyelids fluttered and closed. Her tongue darted into his mouth, searched and withdrew. Underneath his hand the flesh of her back quivered like the flanks of a nervous filly. Finally she drew away and stared at him. "You're all man," she breathed. "As if I didn't know."

"You like Chinese food?"

"Uh huh."

"I know a place on H Street that's open all night."

"And me looking the way I do?"

"We can char cork and go blackface."

Paula giggled.

Just then the telephone shrilled. Gaiety drained from her face and her body tensed. Novak growled, "I'll take it."

Where is goes from there, I'll leave it to you to discover. Maybe we'll do a book club.

Four Thoughts for No Reason

1. Doesn't the team that gets Brett Favre have something of an unfair advantage? Shouldn't he at least play a position other than quarterback?

2. Who plays mud football where there are four guys blocking and one guy going out for a pass? Unguarded, I might add.

3. Running plays?

4. Why are there two guys on the bench?

Thanks for reading.

It's Possible You Had to Be There

If you're a hockey commentator and you want to make the point that hockey players are the toughest athletes in the world, could you think of a softer target than soccer players? Maybe baseball? Figure skaters? I mean, it's a fair point, but maybe football or rugby might have been a better comparison.

Let's Put This State on Kruse Control!

My favorite Oregon State Senator got his Friday newsletter out to me a bit early this morning and believe you me it is a gem. Not a gem so much in execution, but it in that it a long and detailed gripe about what a bitch it is to be in the minority party. Get this, even if you offer the most reasonable amendments to health care bills, in the end, the majority party can ignore all your proposals and just do whatever it is they please. And they call this a democracy.

Unfortunately, Jeff doesn't post his e-newsletters right away, so I am forced to give you last week's scraps. But my God, they are delicious.

First of all the Tea Parties held all over the nation did not get much media attention, but should be a wakeup call for Congress and all state legislative assemblies.

Boom! The tea parties did not get much media attention. Jeff and I live in very different worlds, apparently.

Jeff then tells us he's a farmer and, therefore, a business man. He can't understand why the Legislature is not run more like a his business. He gives us an example:

We will be looking at those activities which have shown a profit as well as those that have not. We are continuously looking for ways to become more efficient and cost effective in our operation. We are always experimenting with new varieties of seed, different crop applications, different types of equipment, whatever we can find to make our operation better. Our goal is to be able to give our customers the best quality products at the best price.

When we are planning for the next year we never assume the status quo. We know there are some crops that make us money and some that don’t. We also know we will continue to grow many of those we lose money on simply because our customers expect it, which puts additional pressure on our profit centers. I could go on for a long time about my business, but the point is to show the perspective which I use to create my budget. I think one of the unfortunate realities is very few members of the Legislature have any real business experience.

Exactly. Experimentation, trying new things. Give the customers what they need at the lowest prices. I'm down. Some government programs will make money, some won't. We can't know which. Some government programs will continue to exist, even though they lose money, just because the customers (that's you and me Russ) expect those crops services to be there. Look, we could talk about this all day, but talking never put hay in the barn.

But wait a tick.

There is a way to create a balanced budget for the next biennium without tax and fee increases...We should be prioritizing core government services and funding only those determined to be essential. We should not be creating new programs or any other type of government expansion.

What happened to the experimentation? The growing crops just 'cause that's what the customers want? What happened to the somethings will work and some won't, but you got to keep plugging away? Well, as Jeff says, government is big business.

The Governor is the CEO and the Legislative Assembly is the board of directors. It is time we stepped up and did our job. As of now we are not operating in the best interest of our shareholders.

And if there's one thing Jeff knows about it's running a large company being a rural farmer.