Get Thee to a Nunnery

I don't usually write too much about celebrity gossip, but it's something I follow. I believe Wobs got me hooked on it. When we weren't trolling the net for Lordi videos, I'd hit up the celebrity sites. So I know what's what.

As I said, don't usually comment on this stuff here, but I had to make note of the Miley Cyrus (or, as I call her, Ciley Myrus) hubbub. For those not inclined to watch The View, read the gossip column in the local paper, or be American, Miley is a huge star with all the kids because of the Disney show Hanna Montana, which I have never viewed, but know all about. Because I'm American.

She has an interview in Vanity Fair wherein Annie Leibovitz took some photos, one of which feature some hot 15 year-old naked back action. You can view it here. Go ahead, I'll wait. Prepare yourself, though, it's pretty shocking. Back? Okay. Breathing regular again?

Apparently, a good portion of the America lives in a world where naked 15 year-old backs are something that should not be discussed, let alone shown to the world. Apparently, we're supposed to be very concerned about her fans. Apparently, every girl between the ages of 6 and 19 are going to be running out and demanding that Leibovitz take portraits of their naked backs. Apparently.

The reason I write about this and the kicker for me is that the fine folks at Disney have gotten into the act. The current "line" is that Miley was somehow tricked into taking these "racy" photos or pressured into by Leibovitz.

A Disney spokeswoman, Patti McTeague, faulted Vanity Fair for the photo. “Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines,” she said.

BOOM! The fine folks at Disney are very concerned that someone would manipulate a young woman in the pursuit of profits! The horror!

And Disney is not stopping a tut-tutting the situation, the are going to put Miley on ice for awhile.

"You won't be seeing her for a while," a highranking Disney employee was overheard saying this weekend at a luncheon in LA, according to Page Six. "The company is keeping her away from events and wants her to keep a very low profile for the next four to six months. They're trying to keep her contained."

I honestly don't know where to go with this.

I want to write about the two Americas -- the one where we thought we were past sending young women to the country to have babies to avoid embarrassing the family (let's call this "Blue America") and the one where even the exposure of 15 year-old back is enough to warrant the country treatment ("Red America.")

I want to write about the fact that if there is a single corporation that has done more harm to the young women of America to a greater extent than Disney, I'd like someone to name it. I was at a Girl Scouts meeting the other day (my only one and I am milking it) and the girls were discussing which characters from a musical or play they would want to be. One of them named "the girl lion from the Lion King." I thought about saying something at that point about how interesting it was that the whole movie was male focused, even though though a lion pride is heavily reliant on female lions to survive, to the point where we couldn't even remember the name of the "girl lion," but then other girls started aspiring to be like characters from Rent and my thoughts were taken in other directions. (Hello, fellow Girl Scout parents. Rent? Are you freakin' kidding me!?)

I also want to write about the exploitation of children for entertainment. Also about really crappy kids shows. About corporate control of female bodies. About teen sex. But I have work to do and other outrages piling up on my desk.