Welcome to 1998, Welcome to Canada

So I'm looking to buy a Vancouver Canucks' hockey jersey, as I am wont to do whenever I am watching a hockey match-up on the tv. Which is pretty frequently, actually. Not that I am always thinking I should get a Canucks' jersey, in fact I should get a Red Wing's sweater if any, given that I like them most, but the Canucks' shirt is not bad looking both home and away and I can't help but thinking of them as the "local" team. Plus I'm remembered that the Canucks were having a Boxing Day sale where everything was like 20-50% off.

Now I don't know what you all know about the cost of the hockey jerseys, but fat guyfashion does not come cheap. We're talking 150 clams. More if you want numbers. And who doesn't? I mean if your getting your hockey-fan geek on, you might as well go whole hog and let everyone know that you know your obscure North American sports leagues well enough to have particular favorites. So, a 20-50% savings is a considerable factor.

Anyway, I tool on over to the Canucks' webpage to visit the Canuck Store to see if the sale is still on. Nothing on the page indicated that it was, but I thought it might tell you when you put the item in the cart. You know how they do. I found the jerseys page and clicked on the home jersey. Now I expected to see a page where I could possibly see if the price or maybe sizing and numbering options. What I saw, instead, was this. In other words, nothing.

So I'm clicking around trying to figure out how I go about actually ordering a jersey, when I see this:

To place an order for your official Canucks gear please call us toll-free at 1.877.414.1244 or 604.899.7890 or send us an email for further information.

Of course a (semi-)major North American sports league team wouldn't have a website with an online purchasing option, because it is 1998 and 60 Minutes just did a story on this "online shopping." Could be big, maybe we should look into it.

Go Ducks

It's only a few minutes in and the CBS announcers for the Sun Bowl are already pissing me off.

So far they have referred to the South Florida Bulls as the Bulldogs and now we've been treated to a discussion of how "sneaky" Oregon is being in their play calling. It was suggested that with a whole month to prepare, coaches put in these sneaky plays.

Intelligent football people know that the key to the spread offense is misdirection. It is sneaky by design. In fact, without the sneak, the spread offense doesn't work. This is why it does not work at the pro level, where speed and discipline negate the benefits of misdirection.

Intelligent football people know this.

UPDATE: Intelligent football people who have done their homework know that Oregon always lines up to go for two points on the conversion and the holder makes an on-the-field decision as to whether to go for two or to reposition and kick the extra point. It should surprise only the lazy announcer that Oregon would go for two.

UPDATE: Baby Bash?

From his wikipedia page:

He had planned to play field hockey for the junior college he attended in California during the mid-1990s^[2]. After his first year, however, he began selling crystal meth and dropped out after discovering that he was more likely to make fast money through dealing than the likelihood of becoming a professional basketball player^[2]. Bash eventually tore his ankle several times without surgery, permanently ending the possibility of ever playing basketball at even a semi-professional level.

Merry Christmas

For those of you who may have to deal with Paultards this week...

He came out against the 1964 Civil Rights Act and the Civil War.

Video at Wonkette

Wishes in One Hand, Shit in the Other

I hope that your holidays are as good as they can be.

It Figures

Although many on the right have tried to declare Mitt's Mormonism as a out-of-bounds topic, there has been some light discussion of the issue of racism in the Mormon church.

Mitt has countered this charge by arguing that his family has always been a supporter of civil rights for blacks, specifically citing the fact that he saw his father march with Martin Luther King. You can see that here, at 18 seconds. Elsewhere he expanded on that to say that his father marched with MLK when he was governor of Michigan.

It has recently come to light that King did not march when he was in Michigan in the only time frame that would fit Romney's recollection and there is no evidence that Romney pere met with King. Moreover, young Mitt was off converting the French to Mormonism (and not fighting in Vietnam) at the time.

So what does Mitt have to say about all of this?

On Wednesday, Romney’s campaign said his recollections of watching his father, an ardent civil rights supporter, march with King were meant to be figurative.

“He was speaking figuratively, not literally,” Eric Fehrnstrom, spokesman for the Romney campaign, said of the candidate.

Ah yes, figuratively marched with King. There are so many directions to go with this, I don't know what to say. Let's go with this:

My father played with Hendrix at Woodstock and my mom rioted with the French students in '68.

What did your parents do?

Democrat, Indeed

I was listening to the NPR earlier and they were doing a story on the candidates' Christmas "postcard" ads. I came in late, but when I got there a man and a woman were discussing the Edwards ad. The woman though that it was a bad ad. They quickly moved on to a discussion of the Huckabee ad, which she described as the perfect ad that hit just the right notes, avoiding politics(!) and focusing on the spirit of the season. There was discussion of whether it was really a political ad focusing on Huck's Christianity, but it was agreed that he has already established his Christian credentials, so this ad was just a genuine expression of goodwill during the holiday Christmas season.

They both hated the Hillary ad. The man thought that it was cringe-inducing. He hated it. Apparently, he finds it cold and calculating. Hmmm.

She then went on to express that Hillary and Edwards went for "issue ads" in their Christmas "postcards," which she felt was the wrong way to go about it. Again, in contrast to the Huckabee ad.

They both thought the Giuliani ad was shit, which is something I think we can all agree on.

So, I was driving along pretty pissed because NPR is supposed to be liberal radio, or at least fair, and ascribing pure motives to Huckabee and falling into the storyline that Hillary is a calculating b-tch. But the kicker was that the woman doing the analysis is Anita Dunn, DEMOCRATIC consultant.

No wonder we're fucked.

Incompetence in Action

Let's say you drew a comic strip about the never-ending adventures of a high school's sports teams. Don't you think that it would be incumbent upon you to learn how to draw at least two different football uniforms to assist your readers in following your action? Not at Gil Thorp. These two gridiron warriors are on two different teams, although they, embarrassingly, wore the exact same uniform very similar uniforms. You can make out the 'M' -- as in Milford--on the side of Bill Ritter's helmet. And 57 seems to have a couple of extra thin stripes on his helmet. Other than that, they are the same. This is, of course, one of the many reasons why I love Gil Thorp.

John Edwards Wins My Vote (Maybe)

Despite objections from the lunatic right, I really like this commercial from Edwards. As a non-Christian, I often contemplate exactly what Christmas means to me and what it is supposed to mean in the Christian religion. Edwards comes so much closer to the meaning of the foundations of Christian theology than either Huckabee or Giuliani (you can find their ads on youtube).

Bombardment

Bombardment!

The 10 Most Dangerous College Courses

Boffo crazy and high-larry-us.

FSM’s Second Annual ‘America’s Most Dangerous College Courses’

Jason Rantz

It’s been two years since I’ve begun investigating insipid, scary and yes, downright dangerous college courses – sometimes funded by tax dollars – and unfortunately, little has changed. Arrogant professors, protected by tenure and faint-hearted administrators, use their classrooms to spread their twisted views of America and its allies. Sometimes, entire courses are focused on anti-American views; other times, professors take time from non-political classes, such as math or Kinesiology, to complain about George Bush, the war on terrorism, social justice, and whatever it is that happens to bother them at the time of their rants. Consequently, students are not being taught properly and universities and colleges are robbing their students of the well-rounded educations they are paying for and deserve.

Go ahead and check out the courses. I knew it was good stuff when I read about "far-Left Senator Ted Kennedy" and NBC's recent move to the far Left, led by that noted-Trot Chris Matthews.

Done and Done

After years of lots of talk and no rock, I finally got my tat finished and got the 3544 -- all at the same time!



Thanks for the inspiration Court. Your turn, Wobs.

Good Luck With That

Overheard at the Market of Choice:

College Girl One: Are you still going to Spain?

College Girl Two: Yeah, I'm afraid I won't want to come back.

CGO: A lot of people really like Spain.

CGT: Oh, I'll come back. At least to graduate. And for graduate school.

CGO: Graduate school? Good Lord.

CGT: I know. I haven't really decided. Maybe. It's like, do I want my life totally crazy for four years?

I Am a Better Citizen Than You

I scored a 95% on this awesomely meaningless quiz.

What'd you get?

All I Want for Christmas Is...

a Democratic Congress. A real one.

A Larf For You

Stealing from the Onion's Worst band Names of 2007:

Honeydew Revue
This Austin band wins for Best Opening Line Of A Band Bio: "34.7 hundred years ago, in the mountains of Echinacea, an elf gave birth to a baby elf."

EW Letter(s) of the Week

This week we having dueling -topias:

Utopia:

POINTLESS DEATH

Since the tragic, needless death of Lucy Lahr, I have read many reports about the mishap and tributes to Lucy. However, no one seems to be talking about how to prevent such deaths. I am reminded to question why we tolerate a transportation system which causes the death of nearly 50,000 people a year in the U.S. Our system is not only destructive to life and property, but it also excludes the poor, the young, the elderly and the physically or mentally limited.

Would a general strike against our current system (quit driving cars) increase ridership in public transit and increase service to benefit the excluded? What effect would giving the 50 cents a mile we expend on self-transport to collective transport systems have? Activists, get active with transport choices!

Ed Gunderson, Creswell

Dystopia:

SPORTSPORK FOR NIKE

EW often contains articles referring to itself as "watchdog" journalism, and proudly features news about recent awards. That's great. With that in mind, would you please drop your endless global whining junk science hysteria reporting and take a long, detailed, focused look at the largest, porkiest sports arms race project(s) currently spiraling out of control?

If your writers aren't ready or able, then hire some who are better or more motivated. These days it really seems EW stands for "Enablers Weekly" as you ignore annexation by Nike Corporation of land and properties in Eugene.

Meanwhile in Salem, Frohnmayer and Nike are spare-changing the governor and Legislature for a $200 million loan to prop up this Trojan Horse "smart growth" project.

EW, stop drinking Nike's green and yellow Kool-Aid and get to work.

Zachary Vishanoff, Eugene

If I know my readers, and I don't, many of you will want to cry foul over the inclusion of resident crank Zach Vishanoff, but to deny him a place on these pages would be to deny that he represents that part of Eugene that we all end up rubbing shoulders with before fleeing back to the safety of Democratic politics. Plus, I think Zach makes fun of global warming here and how many of you saw that coming?

600 Pounds of Men

Very appropriate for today. Thanks, Chad.

Day 100

22 pounds lost. I weighed in this morning at 203.

I have been on a diet for 100 days and it has been awesome! I am not following any kind of proscribed diet, just my own less fat, less sugar, a lot less calories, absolutely no treats diet.

My lunches have mostly consisted of a six-inch turkey sub on wheat, no cheese, no mayo, no oil and vinegar. A bag of Lays Baked Cheese and Sour Cream Ruffles.

I've been trying to walk for at least half-an-hour every day, but that's been admittedly spotty.

Dinners have been light. A lot of salads with green taco sauce for dressing. A ton of fish. If I had to have red meat, then 4% ground beef. Chicken of course, but not as much as I might have expected.

Snacks made up of either baked chips of some sort or fruit. I have lately been into pears with warm honey for dipping.

I "cheated" on the diet when I was in Hawaii and on Thanksgiving. Those were planned. Last week I had pizza when I watched a boxing match up with Bob. Other than that, nothing. Not one piece of chocolate. No burgers, no fries. Nothing fried for that matter. No nachos or corn chips.

I weighed myself every morning and several times throughout the evening and night. It has been a bit of an obsession. I kind of know exactly how much my cloths weigh. I mean, I know that I will be one pound heavier if I am wearing my flannel boxers, as opposed to my cottons. Unfortunately, we have perhaps the least consistent scale in the history of scales. Two pound fluctuations between weigh-ins, even those two hours apart, are not uncommon. Only the morning weigh-ins "officially" count.

It's over as of this afternoon. Fifty days off the diet...mostly just allowing myself the occasional dinner out with the wife, maybe a Sunday night pizza. Otherwise, still going with the baked snacks. I can't imagine consuming much chocolate, ice cream, or any desserts. The reward is just not enough to justify the penalty. Then 50 days back on. And so on. The goal is to be at 185 by next Christmas.

Thanks for those who have put up with way too much information about my diet. Sorry to those that had to listen to me complain about the fact that they did not provide diet-appropriate foods. Thanks especially to those that have bolstered the effort by praising my appearance; it really helped, even if I am still a fatty.

Conflicted

Wait a minute, I'm glad Iran is not developing nuclear weapons and I hate America?

Oh yeah, I forgot "America" = "George W. Bush."

Then again, since when do I believe the American intelligence community?

The Republicans in All Their Glory

This is the kind of thing we might come up with while high (on Jeebus), but I believe we'd have the sense to realize it was a bad idea. I know we'd have the sense to realize it was shite and never put it where any one could ever see it.

Wal-Mart Is a Pimp

According to feministing, these are on sale in the juniors section of Wal-Mart.

As Jessica says, "There's nothing quite like telling adolescent girls that they don't need to worry about finances since they have their very own moneypot between their legs."

Contact customer service here and corporate offices here: let them know that preteen vaginas aren't commodities."

I'd like to know who buys these for their daughter? Then again, three dollar underwear? Who cares what they say! Not that more expensive clothes for the pre-teens are much better, but at least not quite so crass about it.

Marxism = Intelligent Design

Bob Maranto, a professor at Villanova University wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post where he decried the supposed left-wing bias on the college campus and called for more balance. Yesterday, he did a discussion board where he answered questions, great questions!, and made some semi-shocking statements.

Over the course of the Q&A Professor Maranto reveals that he is perfectly fine with academics having political view points, he just thinks that they should be very close to his own, or they become "fringe." Maranto says he is a middle-of-the-road type guy. "I'm pretty middle of the road...I've seen liberals get some things right (Clinton's tax increases) and conservatives get some things right (Reagan's foreign policy, welfare reform)..." He does argue, however, that the right has been right a bit more often than the left. He also seem to think that certain middle-of-the-road view points have been so well established that differing with them makes one a dreaded ideologue. To one questioner who dared to assert that there are more liberals in higher ed because liberalism equals intelligence, he fired back:

I think your answer may indicate a certain arrogance, and isolation from the real world. If the left is always right and the right always wrong, then you have to think that planned economies work better (the economic equivalent of intelligent design), that school standards and school choice are bad ideas (even though the data indicate they bring improvements), that NYPD's crime fighting strategy has failed, the Reagan foreign policy had nothing to do with the fall of communism, etc.

I think the real world events of the past three decades show that liberals are right about some things (global warming, Clintononics), but that on the whole the conservatives have done bit better. Notice I'm not mentioning our more recent foreign policy adventures which, though Hillary signed on, have mostly come from GWB and the normally sensible Tony Blair.

Reading Maranto, you always end up back at the conclusion that either you agree with him, conservatives are "better" on foreign policy, crime, and schools, or you are not being reasonable or realistic. Not that he minds Democrats. He has no problem with them, as long as they are certain types of Democrats. "I think reasonable people can read the data to support either John McCain or Hillary Clinton, so it seems odd to find either unacceptable at universities."

Anyone who falls out of the McCain-Hillary spectrum is an ideologue. Maranto has a particular distaste for the Marxists. He fails to grasp how anyone could still be a Marxist.

I must say I myself have students read some Marx in public policy. He did get some things right, and in any event set forth some interesting theories (as do the Intelligent Design types) that seemed logical even though they were later found wanting (again like Intel Design).

But I think overall Marxism has not fared well in the real world. I find it troubling when certain disciplines see Marxism as a guiding light, as if the 80 million or so deaths (See Courtois et al Black Book of Communism, published by Harvard in 2000) and general collapse of planned economies never happened!

While he doesn't say so explicitly, it seems clear from the way he writes that anyone to the left of Clinton (choose your favorite) is a Marxist. And it is the Marxists who are destroying higher education.

In the end, it is clear that Maranto isn't really in favor of "balance" in higher ed so much as he is in favor of everyone being mainstream.

Middle-of -the-Road

I wanted to share this letter in the Register Guard from last week. It is so messed up as to be awesome, but I also think it helps explain why our leaders in the Democratic party are so moderate. Unfortunately, there are way more people like Jeanne here than there are people like you and me.

Impeachment a waste of time

For all those fine folks on the impeachment bandwagon, I have just one question: What good will it do?

Right now, it seems as if everyone wants to get even with the Republicans, who impeached one of the most embarrassing presidents in history. I voted for President Bush, now to my regret, but I would rather have him than the alternatives.

I have come to disagree with him on so many counts (the war, immigration, SCHIP), but impeachment is just a waste of time for the pathetic Congress we now have. They should focus their time on issues such as immigration, child predators, Social Security reform, Medicare, health insurance for everyone, stopping big oil companies from raping us at the pumps and dangerous foreign leaders.

They need to focus on stopping foreign entities from shipping their poisons here for us to purchase. They need to stop American companies from outsourcing. They need to get us out of the United Nations. They need to find a way to cut taxes (even the Democrats) because the common American can’t afford to live day to day, let alone retire.

So far, the Democratic Congress has been so busy trying to discredit President Bush and Vice President Cheney, they have let America go to hell in a hand basket.

Folks, we have real problems and real issues. In the grand scheme of things, impeachment for a man who will be out of office soon enough seems a monumental waste of time.

Jeanne Ross

Default Position: Work

Great post about the writer's strike at the Bellman.

I followed the link from there to Strikeadeal where there is more from the "below-the-line" perspective. From what I can gather, it is the duty of writers to write. It is wrong of them to stop performing this function, as it can have a negative impact on the lives of others. Apparently, if a strike situation begins to affect your life, you should automatically blame the workers for intransigence, not the corporation.

This is, of course, a common feature of the national conversation about labor, unions, and strikes in this country. I am sure the sociologists can explain it, but I have always found it amazing that the default position in people's minds always seems to be that it is the workers who are to blame during a strike. Even more amazing to me are the people who "support" a strike right up to the moment when it affects them, then their support disappears and we hear about those lazy workers. Rich, lazy workers whose jobs aren't all that hard anyway.

This is one of those things where I am just unable to imagine the mindset that causes one to think that somehow someone else is obligated to labor so that your life is better. That people should somehow be forced to labor so that the structure of our capitalist society is not damaged. That somehow it is only natural and right that those at the top of the economic pyramid should continue to reap all the rewards of everyone's labor. I don't understand it.

Let's Put This Whole Nightmare Behind Us

What could be more heart-warming than a Christmas pardon? It's the gift we all wish we could receive.

Let's Give the Man a Break

I am sure that Huck only wanted to quarantine out of love. Love, I tell you. What other motive could he have possibly had? He's a Baptist minister for God's sake.

Get "Active"

You can send a letter to the producers of your favorite show (doesn't have to be K-ville) and give them a little grief over their shoddy treatment of the writers.

RIP

Al Scaduto.

Bambina Blogging

Amber: Dad, did you know that you could be sent back from Ellis Island, back to your home country, for lameness?

Me: Do you know what "lameness" means?

Amber: I guess not.

Me: It means one of your limbs doesn't work.

Amber: Oh, I thought it was, you know, for not being cool enough.

You Tell Me

I don't know what this means, but I like it. The Winter GTFF GMM flyer.

Whaaaaa?

For those of you who don't know the comic Prickly City, it features a poorly-drawn Hispanic girl who is a conservative and her friend/pet/Hobbes who is a liberal coyote. It is a conservative comic that takes a "humorous" view of the world, especially those crazy liberals. Today's comic is a mind-bending peach. Through the looking glass we go:

Shitfaced

Have you all seen the Belvedere Vodka commercial featuring Vincent Gallo? I think the commercial is pretty bad. I'd link to it, but I can't find it on the nets.

The commercial is just as "arty" and pretentious as you might expect from Gallo, but my question is why the fine folks at Belvedere would use him. Does he have some kind of cultural cache that I am not aware of? I mean what percentage of the population has heard of the guy, but doesn't know that he is a racist shit head that seems to genuinely believe that people want to buy his old crap and/or pay $1M to be impregnated by him (no blacks need apply)?

The other question is why the fine folks at Belvedere chose Mr. Gallo. Either they didn't know about his website and personal views, which shows poor judgment, or they knew about this and chose to feature him anyway, which shows shockingly poor judgment.

For those that might be tempted to view the website as a joke or an "art piece," please show me even once where you get that impression, except in the "sperm" sale, which could only be a joke because it is so over-the-top. But none of the rest of the site is, so I don't know why we would consider this odious slice to be a put-on.

Just so you know, I hadn't read the gawker piece when I wrote this. Been meaning to for awhile, but just did it today. Hmmm.

White is Black

We live in some strange times.

Two Thoughts, Completely Unrelated

You know how when you have a low-grade sickness for a couple of days and you feel better in the morning, but then afternoon hits and you realize, that, no, you are not all better and you just want some soup and bed and maybe a James Bond movie on the tv? I got that.

I hope to God (ha ha) that the Republicans nominate Mike Huckabee for president. There is a whole lot of moral decay in this country.

The Devil's Choice to Make

So, tonight at 9 pm I have to choose between some hot K-ville action on the Fox or some less hot, but fascinating, Nimrod Nation action on the Sundance Channel.

I usually resolve these dilemmas by watching the show I am less likely to see in re-runs, but in this case that doesn't really help me. Sundance hasn't scheduled Nimrod on any night but Mondays and K-ville is soon to be canceled.

I might be able to 'rent one of them, but I've no idea which is more likely to be on the 'net...the obscure documentary program or the Fox show nobody watches in the first place.

In Case You Were Wondering

Any of this would be fine.