David Sedaris: Feministed

Went to the David Sedaris show with some friends last night and had a pretty decent time, although I think I enjoyed him more last time I saw him. It may have been that last time I was high and drunk and this time I was relatively sober, but, also, I think I was out of the groove because his first story got me off on the wrong foot. It's about him refusing to switch seats with a woman so she could sit next to her husband on a plane because he doesn't like sitting in the "bulkhead" row. He and the woman get into an argument and at one point he calls her a "whore," well, not to her face, but to himself. This drew a big laugh from the audience. I couldn't but recall, however, some of the things I have been reading on Feministing (okay, I already knew this, but since I'm out of academia this is my touchstone for the feminism) about men throwing out the "whore" label when they are wrong. The "ultimate" weapon. I know nothing about you, other than I don't like you, so I will use my privilege to accuse you of being sexually transgressive. Coming from a gay man, this was extra interesting, in that he could disguise his sexual "transgression," but throw out accusations anyway.

Okay, but now I am forced to ponder the fact that I rolled up to this particular show playing Lil' Wayne's "Get Money," which features the chorus, "Fuck bitches, get money, get money, fuck bitches." For some reason, I have little to no problem with this, but I do with Sedaris calling an unnamed woman a "whore" because she disagreed with him. Maybe because Lil' Wayne is so cartoonish. I mean how can you take "Dear Mr. Toilet, I'm the shit"seriously? You can't. Yet, Sedaris is supposed to be "one of us." And I can't imagine too many Eugene women laughing along with Lil' Wayne. In fact, I'd suspect that I'd draw many lectures if I busted out the Lil' Wayne at a GTFF function, yet I bet Sedaris would be an honored guest.

So I spent a decent portion of the show pondering instead of laughing, especially since much more of his show relies on cultural "misunderstandings." I could imagine a right-wing telling some of the same stories about life in France and Japan and not drawing laughs from the same crowd.

More evidence that context is everything.

Sport Break

Anybody else out there following the hokey playoffs? Apparently, this is not something Americans do, but I can't get enough. Trying to watch the NBA playoffs after hokey is difficult, if not impossible. Basketball seems so slow and it's like football in its seconds of action, long break rhythm.

Having no "home team," I am able to pick a favorite in a series, so I always have a rooting interest. Currently, I'm rooting for the Sabers, Canucks, Red Wings, and the Senators. In fact, I keep being tempted to ask PopTart to pick me up a Buffalo jersey, but I could do it via internets and would open myself up for anti-sport, anti-Buffalo, and anti-guys-wearing-jersey posts.

I also discovered last weekend that hokey is infinitely better on a giant screen tv, as it makes seeing the puck all that much easier.

In other sporting news, did you all catch Tony Stewart's anti-NASCAR tirade? I know you did. The link was just for grins. Now I am not a huge Stewart guy, which is odd because I kind of like his little bad-boy image, he drives the #20 Home Depot Chevy and there's nothing not to love there. Might it be the orange-and-black color scheme? I think it might be that he drives for Joe Gibbs racing and I can't root for anyone associated with that particular football team in Washington. But I digress.

Stewart basically called NASCAR for being full of shit, comparing them to pro wrestling in its match-fixing skills, something that I've marveled at for years. Without going into a lot of detail, NASCAR is owned by one family and they literally make the rules. Sometimes in the middle of a race. Stweart called them on their habit of throwing cation flags just when it would come in handy for certain racers. Let's say the top 5 racers are all low on gas and are going to need to pit before the end of the race. If they pit under green, then they are going to lose position to some scrubs who don't need to pit. Invariably, almost as soon as the announcers make this known, a caution for "debris on the track" will come out, the leaders will pit under yellow, not lose position and not lose the race. Now when I say "invariably," I don't mean, "how come I always hit a red light when I'm late? (irony)" I mean every freakin' time. Stewart called NASCAR on this. He was hauled into a 6 am meeting (why 6 am?) and now has withdrawn all comments and wants to assure us all that NASCAR is on the level, the up and up, and is all square.

Alright, Rangers and Sabers is on. Time to go.

Governement (In) Action

For those not following this saga on Kos, Feingold is trying to pass a law that would require Senate candidates to file their financial report electronically. Someone in the Republican party is objecting to the bill, but won't reveal who he or she is. All Republican Senators have denied being the one to block the bill, so someone is lying.

You can get a taste of government in action here:

Nothing to See Here

Sorry about the lack of posts recently. Busy, busy, busy. I need to write the GTFF newsletter today and I've been in a sarcastic funk sense the weekend. A bender will do that to you.

Convention (that's were I was this weekend) was weird enough that I can't blog about it. I imagine that is a reason nephew has been largely silent since we got back (hold on a sec while I check his blog to make sure he hasn't posted a ton of shit since yesterday...fuck, nevermind). i do want to say this, mostly because it needs to be said, not because those currently pissed at me won't be after they read this, the GTFF might not always agree with each other and we may at times make questionable decisions, but we are the hardest working bunch of unionists in this fucking state and I dare any union to say that they are closer than we are. We may have internal disagreements, but once we face the outside world, we have one face and one voice. Makes me think that if we ever had to go out on strike we could do it.

Also, David Broder has a great column on why Harry Reid is increasingly beginning to suck. For those who want to argue that we are losing the war and somebody needed to say it, I say "yes,' but that somebody could have said it coherently, intelligently and without feeding into the "defeatist" mantra that the GOP likes to put forward.

Although I don't agree with much of what he says, and yes he's a booze-hound (an interesting reason to dismiss someone's arguments, especially with this crowd), and a Brit (imperialist swine!), but I really enjoyed this essay about why religion sucks by Christopher Hitchens in Slate. Don't read the comments though, I've heard more coherent arguments fromm Harry Reid.

And lastly, if you haven't purchased Police Squad on dvd yet, for christsake get off your ass and do it. Or stay on your ass and buy it from amazon.com, but for godssake overnight it.

Oh, Ignoble Fame!

Although it is well embarrassing, I feel obliged to note the first mention of my blog outside the circle. You can see it here.

At least I am described as "an ardently pro-labor blogger," which is the first time I have been described as a blogger and helps me get past the obvious "if these guys are approving of me, I have gone horribly wrong." Well, a little.

You Just Knew There'd Be a Woman to Blame

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21576271-5001021,00.html

"THIS is the face of the girl who may have sparked the worst school shooting in US history."

Another Labor Post

Something is horribly wrong with the American labor movement. We know this right? Numbers of union members are down, gross numbers and in relation to the working population. If it weren't for public employees, unions would be some old vestige of the industrial era. (Remind me of this next time I begin ranting about how the political alliance with Democrats has gotten labor nothing). But the movement is broken and there are strong signs that we are headed down the wrong, wrong, where-are-going-again-? road. And, quite frankly, it is up to us to fix it.

How many union conferences/conventions/meetings have you been to where some baby boomer is standing up at a podium lamenting the decline of the labor movement and wondering why the young people of today just don't get it? I have to restrain myself from standing up and pointing out that it was Mr. (let's face facts) Boomer that oversaw the decline of the labor movement. They all but say it..."When I was growing up, my dad and all his friends were in the union. We went to picnics, had bowling leagues, lived in a spirit of brotherhood. Now my children don't know what a union is. The young people today need to realize..." It's like Jesus "Fucking" Christ, who's the weak link there, Charlie? It ain't the kids, it's you. Unless you were on the front lines of organizing the public employees, any work you were doing in the '70s, '80s, and '90s saw negative results. And I'm not just attacking faceless union bosses, my dad was a union guy in the 1980s who lead his union out on strike and it got busted. I love my dad and admire the stand he and his brothers and sisters took, but I'm not turning to him for advice on how to lead a successful strike, either.

And while I'm on the subject of baby boomer men at microphones, when the wail of lament goes up for the labor movement, you may hear the word "traditional" thrown in there. Next time you do, please stand up and let the motherfucker who let that one slip have it. The "traditional" labor movement is, of course, white men doing white manly things. Building cars, mining coal, making steel, driving trucks. That the labor movement exists at all because women have swelled the ranks since the 1970's public employee revolution goes largely un-noted.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, current ills. My brother, Wobblie, drew our attention to the fine folks at the United Food and Commercial Workers who are trying to organize Tesco, a British company that sells pre-packaged, high-end food stuffs for the SUV crowd. UFCW is employing tactic called corporate campaign. Originally designed to be a tool for striking workers, it is more frequently being deployed as an organizing tool. Very briefly, corporate campaign was a way for labor to put additional pressure on a company when shutting down one or two factories/plants/stores would not be enough to affect the bottom line of your average American monolith. You would use pressure tactics, embarrassing them in the community, encouraging boycotts, putting pressure on their suppliers/business partners to try to get the company to be reasonable. The value of a corporate campaign as a tactic during a bargaining or strike situation can be debated another time. I am advancing the idea that trying to use a corporate campaign as a organizing tactic is idiotic.

Here's what the UFCW is doing. They are handing out flyers in the Scottsdale community, where Tesco is proposing to build some stores, highlighting the fact that in Britain Tesco has gotten into trouble for selling liquor to minors. UFCW is calling on the community to "protect your family" from this evil corporation (I don't have evidence, but I am willing to lay money down that they are also going with protectionistesque language about the fact that Tesco is a foreign company, as this is standard stuff for all of labor). Now this tactic might make some sense if the UFCW was trying to stop a non-union company from moving into a unionized town, but they are not. They are trying to use this tactic to get Tesco to agree to let them "organize" Tesco employees. They are trying to embarrass the company into "neutrality" on unionization. They are screaming, "Tesco is evil! Tesco is evil!" in the hopes that Tesco will be so desperate to get them to stop, that they will agree to a union. In which case, the UFCW will be shouting, "Tesco is great! Tesco is great!" and will immediately begin selling liquor to underage minors (hell, UFCW might even agree to lobby to change the drinking laws, if they are following the SEIU model, but more on that later). As Wobs pointed out, it is tough to see who, exactly, will be buying this argument. Certainly not the conservative suburbanites who would make up the customer base for Tesco.

I wish I could say that this is simply a misguided tactic limited to one small union campaign, but it is not. Corporate campaign is a major organizing tactic and too often it is the main organizing tactic used on a campaign. Rather than talking with workers to build a movement inside a corporation, labor is talking with managers. In fact, as the name implies, corporate campaign is not about workers at all; it is about corporations and unions. It is not about making worker's lives better, it is about getting a union at a company. Sure, it's possible that a union will automatically lead to a better conditions for workers, but not at all necessarily. Especially if the union's every existence was dependent about an "agreement" between labor and management.

This is the same tactic that the UFCW is using "against" WalMart, with their WakeUpWalMart campaign. The whole message of this campaign is that WalMart is evil. Evil, evil, evil. Now we can all probably agree that WalMart is evil, but we might not be doing it for the same reasons that WakeUpWalMart is doing it. You see, rather than stake out any kind of coherent ideological position, like say that WalMart is evil because they force their suppliers to continually shrink costs by squeezing their own labor, thereby causing a downward slide for everyone not named Walton,. Instead, UFCW and WakeUpWalMart slam WalMart for everything they can, including for not living up to the founding wisdom of Sam Walton and for making our communities less safe. Not to say that some of their information isn't spot on, it is, but accusing WalMart of being "morally corrupt" and a burden to our communities would seem to indicate that all WalMart's everywhere should be destroyed. Which, of course, is not what the UFCW wants. They just want to be able to unionize these workers. WakeUpWalMart is merely an attempt to pressure WalMart into allowing unions. The moment WalMart agrees to allow unions, is the moment that WakeUp WalMart comes down and "we" no longer care about business practices, the wisdom of Sam Walton, the safety of our communities, who WalMart gives money to, and or the tax burden on our communities. In fact, the moment UFCW is into WalMart would be the moment I would be expected to head down there and start enjoying amazing savings on cheap-ass goods and services.

And that leads us to my favoritest union of them all, SEIU. You've read about their latest tactics in organizing home care workers, so I won't reiterate, but it is easy to see how the tactics of UFCW so easily blend in with those of SEIU. Not surprisingly, these two unions have joined together to "revolutionize" labor in America. Obviously, so people very dedicated to the labor movement disagree with me, but from what I can see, SEIU, UFCW, and, if I may smear with the same brush, Change to Win seem way more focused on growing unions, than on improving the lives of workers. Everything I read about these guys is about putting pressure on corporations in order to get them to agree to allow unions. About unions and management working together. About the need to increase shareholder value. As you all know, I am far from a communist, but Jesus "Fucking" Christ, as soon as a labor leader starts talking about unions having to look out for shareholders, shouldn't we be driving this man out of our movement? What part of that is okay?

With a cursory knowledge of labor history, it seems to me that Andy Stern and his minions are trying to lead labor right back to the time when the labor movement was at its largest, but when it began to fall apart. Maybe I've been reading too much Ellroy, but it seems to me that the labor movement fell apart when it started to be about unions (and there size) and not about the workers. Jesus, I'm starting to sound like a anti-union sumbitch, so let me stop here and save my "let's save the labor movement" post (hint, it involves the "organizing model!") for later.

Alternative Baseball Universes

I gotta tell you, I am loving my baseball fantasy league. Through faux press releases and newspaper articles, we are slowly creating an alternative baseball universe that has to be so much better than the real one. A representative post from the Klamath Timberbarons:

by: Klamath Timberbarons (amc1977)

Apr 16 12:20pm

AMSTERDAM (AP) - Klamath Timberbarons manager Bert Blyleven was detained by Dutch authorities as he attempted to board a flight bound for Jakarta at Amsterdam's Schiphol International Airport. Blyleven, 55, disappeared several days before the start of the 2007 season, much to the surprise of his team and front office. According to local authorities, Blyleven has been a staunch and long-time supporter of the Gereformeerde Arbeidspartij van de Vreij Europa, a splinter faction of the more mainstream Volkspartij voor Vrijheid en Democratie that seeks to eliminate what it describes as "the treasonous infestation of the Euro". Since the adoption of the single-currency system, party stalwarts have orchestrated a number of brazen plots to disrupt acceptance of the Euro, including an abortive plan to destroy the European Central Bank. Blyleven, born in Zeist near Utrecht, has long advocated policies of economic isolationism while calling for strong tariffs and a moratorium on immigration. Blyleven has been sought by Dutch authorities since 2002 for his role in the assassination of rival Pim Fortuyn. Speaking through his lawyer, Blyleven dismissed the charges as baseless, but refused to explain his travel plans to Indonesia. Formal charges against Blyleven are expected to be announced later this afternoon. Reaction amongst the Timberbarons players was mixed. Vladimir Guerrero, himself an outspoken critic of transnational monetary systems, was outraged by the arrest, adding "we're just trying to play 162 and put a few Ws on the board". Guerrero added "As long as I've known Bert, he's been a champion for the cause of the radical left", uncertain how precisely his statement will benefit Blyleven's defense. Managerial responsibilities during Blyleven's continued absence will be assumed jointly by third base coach Albert "Joey" Belle and McGruff the Crime Dog, the anthropomorphic cartoon bloodhound created by the National Crime Prevention Council for use by American police in building crime awareness among children in the 1980s and 90s.

I wish I could share them all with you and I pity you that I can't. Let your consolation lie in the fact that i am happy as a clam in mud.

In All Fairness

A response to the SF Weekly about SEIU.

I don't know jack about the politics of various SF alternative papers, but I do notice that the BeyondChron does more asserting that SEIU is progressive and a very little denying the facts about the template agreement and sweetheart deals.

Fuck Andy Stern, Part 231

Looking for some evidence that SEIU disputes the claims made in last week's SF Weekly, I came upon this headline on the SEIU webpage under media relations.

SEIU PRESIDENT ANDY STERN CALLS ON WAL-MART TO ADOPT CHANGES TO INCREASE SHAREHOLDER VALUE

In Speech to Bank Analysts, Says Wal-Mart’s Reputational Issues Are Hurting Shareholder Value, Proposes Collaboration

I was unable to find any denials about the validity of the assertions in the article. I did see, however, that the Unity and Independence, the newspaper of some lefty organization Patrick got me hooked up with, added that there is a clause in the template agreement that makes these contracts 50-year contracts. Sounds completely fantastic (the sci-fi type fantastic, not the "that's great" kind), but then so does offering to collaborate with WalMart to increase shareholder value.

Spam Message Line

Artie said that he's going on January 3rd so he'll tell Dave that he can confirm that he was on heroin.

Flogging

My friends, I hope you'll indulge me and let me remind you about my other online venture, Seasonville. I've built up a month's-plus of cartoons over there and I am quite proud of the work.

If you haven't been to Seasonville, or haven't visited in awhile, please do. Don't be afraid to click on the "older posts" button.

I have had some very mild requests for shirts and a special friend of mine has a gift-receiving occasion coming up, so if you'd be interested in sporting a hilarious Seasonville cartoon in t-shirt format, let me know what you like. I have absolutely no experience with the cafepress, so I'll have to see what's what.

I've Been Meaning to Say Something

Okay, are we really to believe that Ben, Bernice's long-lost brother, currently serving in the Iraq War, has a thing for 16-year-old airhead Luann? After going bowling with her once?

More Star Wars Frustration

What was said:

BEN: When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong.

What's wrong with this?:

BEN: When I first met your father, he was still a young man, but my mentor recognized the force was strong within him. He took it upon himself to train your father as a Jedi, but he was killed before the training could begin. I trained your father and we were very good friends, until he turned to evil.

Why did Lucas make Ben into a liar? Why would Ben lie to Luke? Why would a man make a movie that makes no sense in the context of his earlier film?

I hate you "prequels!" I hate you George Lucas!

SEIU Sells Out Workers (Again) and a Polemic at the End!

This is a decent article from the SF Weekly about SEIU's agreement with California nursing
homes.

For those with no time to read, here's how it goes down. SEIU enters into an agreement with nursing home chains. The deal goes like this:

SEIU agrees to lobby on behalf of nursing homes for increased subsidies for nursing homes/care from the state, caps on lawsuit damages (tort reform) stemming from ill treatment in nursing homes, and opposition to laws that would tie increased subsidies to improvements in patient care.

In exchange, SEIU is allowed to organize a certain number of nursing homes in the chain without employer opposition. According to the article, the number of homes they get to organize is based on their success in passing/stopping legislation.

Additionally, the homes that SEIU does organize have a pre-written "template agreements" for a contract. This contract specifies that the union cannot bargain for increased staffing levels, increases/changes to benefits, or job conditions. There is specific language that bars the union from attempting to bargain wages that would put the employer at an "economic disadvantage." In other words, unionized employees will be paid the same rate as non-unionized employees. Employees are also forbidden from reporting on conditions within the homes, unless required to do so by law.

I don't know about you all, but there is no fucking way this looks like unionism to me. There are apparently some people within SEIU that oppose these sort of agreements, but I think that all of us who are repelled by this sort of agreement have to speak out about SEIU. They cannot be allowed to become the future of labor because they are good at publicity and because they can get huge with garbage deals like this. The Teamsters did the same thing and we are still fucked because of it. We must work to oppose it. Being anti-SEIU might somehow be anti-union, but it is pro-worker.

No, Not That Outer Rim

So my explorations into the "Has George Lucas gone batshit?" question have reveled a disturbing world to me. It is a world where people feel connected enough to the Star Wars movies to be reading and commenting on a website dedicated to Star Wars, but is populated by people who seem to believe that anyone who thinks that the three prequels are shit is a "fanboy." This term is meant to be derogatory. I take it from the tone of the comments that thinking the originals were great is okay, but arguing that the last three are horrible, soul-robbing travesties is something to be mocked. Apparently, the appropriate attitude is that "Menace" had flaws, but because George was trying to do too much to establish the series, "Clones" was pretty good, and "Sith" ranks right up there. Pointing out that many of the plot points in the "prequels" contradict the originals is considered "fanboy" nitpicking. There also seems to be some idea that some of the contradictions stem from Lucas' pandering to we "fanboys" who criticized the first movie.

Aside: Oh God, yes, it was we fanboys who demanded that Yoda and Chewie be good friends who fought for the Republic together, despite the fact that 20 years or so later Chewie can listen to his good buddy Han mock the force while he plays some chess with the droids and not mention that, hey, I know the force, knew a good guy Yoda, cool dude, fought a war together. Sweet Jesus, Kenobi might have been interested in this fact. He might have mentioned that 3PO and R2D2 bear a shocking resemblance to a couple of droids he knew way back when, but then he would have been caught in one of his serial lies to Luke, so it is good that Chewie didn't fucking bring it up then. 'Course we might also have had to deal with the fact that Han calls the force a "hokey religion" and lightsabers "ancient weapons" even though they were apparently used quite commonly only 20 years before.

Aside, aside: For those that have not agonized over these inconstancies/tragic flaws like I have, we know that the big Clone War was only 20 years before because Luke and Leia were born as the shit was going down and they are 20 (at best) when we first meet them. This causes all kinds of problems with the originals. Just as having Luke and Leia be twins causes problems. You may remember that Luke asks Leia if she remembers her mother. Leia says just flashes of images. Luke says he never knew his mother or his father, then the big revel to Leia. How the fuck Leia remembers her mother who died at child birth, I have no idea. Mitaclorians I guess, who fucking knows.

Back to the action, because my point is not to belabor the many problems with the prequels that become problems with the originals for those of us overly attached to logic. My new problem is with people who have no problem with these things, yet still claim to be fans of Star Wars. I mean, if you're like my wife (and you should be), then you don't need to worry about these things, let the movies wash over you. But if you claim to like Star Wars, how can you not hate these things? This is my question, but I might have an analogy that explains some of it, for me anyway.

The people who like the new movies, while still paying reverence to the older ones, are Christians in relations to Jews. Somehow they don't see that their New Testament, while loosely based on the old one, completely screws everything up. You cannot rationally believe in both. You cannot turn the other cheek while demanding an eye for an eye. Oh fuck it, this analogy doesn't really work. Because here one can argue, well, God changed his mind. First it was an eye for an eye, now it's cheek turning time. In the Star Wars universe, I am being asked to accept that when Obi Wan/Moses said the policy was an eye for an eye, it was really cheek turning, but for purposes of expediency it was okay to say eye for an eye, but it was really cheek turning all along.

Why the hell do I care? You've heard it before. Star Wars is my religion. I believe(d?) in it. The Empire took over from the Republic by dissolving the Imperial Senate and giving the Regional Governors control. I didn't need to know the details. Made perfect sense. I was even led to believe that the more Grand Moff Tarkin tightened his grip, the more star systems would slip through his fingers. But way more importantly, of course, man could be redeemed by doing the right thing in the end. A young man with a good heart and right intentions could save the universe. Ah, importantly, a young man with nothing, from nothing, a moisture farmer's ward, could save the universe if he had some skill and some opportunity. Men and women could fight the odds and win, they had to win, because dammit good triumphed over evil.

It all made sense, it was GOOD, but then it didn't and it wasn't. Obi Wan is a liar. Every time Obi Wan opens his freaking mouth, another lie pops out. Chewie is either really, really dumb (a walking carpet?) or really crafty, but only it if it serves the plot. Leia lies to Luke about remembering her mother (for no apparent reason). The force is not some sort of ancient religion, but a recently murdered part of the fabric of the universe. The build time on a Death Star, extremely conveniently, is exactly the amount of time it takes for a pilot skilled enough to destroy it to grow up, although the second one can be knocked off in approximately 3 years, although the Emperor will send his #2 man to oversee the construction because it is going so slowly. Many, many more, but I digress.

I am a sad and troubled man. George Lucas has made me that way. Why he wants to kick me in the balls every few years is beyond me. Why there are people who claim to be Star Wars fans who live with these problems is beyond me. Apparently, all is beyond me as I struggle to recapture a center to my universe. Yes, if there is a bright center to the universe, I am on the planet it is farthest from.

So You Don't Have To

Uncle Dave is always on the cutting edge of middle-class life. Go ahead and guess how much it costs to have a plumber come out and hook up a sink, faucet, garbage disposal, dishwasher and ice-maker.

Go ahead, take a guess.

God Declares Exodus Worst Book of the Bible

Apparently, George Lucas believes that Empire was the worst of the Star Wars movies. I am beginning to feel more and more sorry for him.

WSOP 1993

Waiting for the plumber, I tuned into the 1993 World Series of Poker on the ESPN Classic. I can't imagine anything that could make 1993 seem so very far away as ESPN's coverage of the WSOP. There was no whole cam, so we were just watching guys push chips into the middle without having any idea what the cards were. Dick Van Patten did the color as if he had never seen poker before. He kept rambling on about the "drama," asking if any sporting event could be more dramatic. Before I go much further, here's a snap of the eventual champion:












I can't find a photo of runner up Glenn Cozen, but he was sporting the classic light-weight jacket with the sleeves pushed up past the elbows. Everything seems to scream early '80s, but no, Nevermind had been out for 2 years, Cypress Hill's Black Sunday was rocking our speakers, and Telly Savalas was in Vegas predicting that the old guys would rule poker for decades to come.

If you've watched as much televised poker as I have (it's great to flip to during commercials), you may be wondering how the poker actions was. Crappy is the word. The second place guy got there by blinding into it. He didn't bet and let the other guys knock each other out. The guy who finished third, John, was on a big stack, the flop came K-*-6 with 2 spades. Another spade hits on the turn. He goes all in against a bigger stack. So you figure he's got an flush, but is it the nuts? Jim hesitates, then calls him. So I'm expecting to see two high flushes. Nope. John had a pair of kings and Jim had three sixes. So the question immediately becomes, how the hell do you put your tournament on the line with top pair when there is a flush draw on the table? Van Patton left this question unasked, let alone unanswered. Fourth-place guy went out going all-in with a pair of jacks with a king and an ace on the board, but he was somewhat short-stacked.

All in all, not hot poker action.

John McCain Does Not Want to be President

How else to explain his continued support for Imus?

Arizona Republican Sen. John McCain, whose presidential candidacy has been backed by Imus on the air, said he would still appear on Imus' program.

"He has apologized," McCain said. "He said that he is deeply sorry. I'm a great believer in redemption. Whether he needs to do more in order to satisfy the concerns of people like the members of that team, that's something that's between him and them. But I have made many mistakes in my life ... and I have apologized, and most people have accepted that apology."

New Name, Same Lame

At first I thought none of you madre humpers sent me any pictures because you hated me. Now I realize it's because you love me so much. You wanted to see more of my creativity. Thanks guys.

And, yes, a shout out to EZ, but it's kind of like when you send an unsolicited joke to a comedian, now I can't use any of the names you suggested without owing you money.

GMM

The GTFF had a pretty good General Membership Meeting last night. Malone saluted Chris by singing a modified, Chris-specific version of Neil Diamond's "I am." A couple of the candidates for ASUO performed a rap about the life of Che. It went on a bit long, but was pretty good for a cappella rapping. We discovered that Glenn Morris will make a fantastic replacement for Patrick, at least in the speechifying at GMMs. The union has now been on a run of Goff-Smith-Hayden and now Morris as VP-Organizer while I've been organizer. All discussions of why the GTFF kicks so much ass in every possible way begin and end right there.

I had a good night. High energy, had the kids laughing, but not in that "what the hell am I witnessing?" sort of way that I have been lately at GMMs. Got two job offers out of my performance. I did manage to piss off my colleague at AFT-OR by not being peppy enough about the prospects of changing the world via legislation in Salem, but then I don't think we can change the world via legislation in Salem. And apparently giving a brief overview of AFT's "FACE" legislation and it's shortcomings is trashing the AFT. I'd go into some sort of rant about my union brothers and sisters still operating as if there are discussions "leadership" should be having with each other and different discussions that leadership should be having with members, but we all know that's the case and I also know my colleague was right, I was being negative and I should try to be more positive. No one gets involved with something because someone tells them it sucks. Although, if I may "other hand" it for a moment, I think the fact that all those people I mentioned above also "keep it real" gives us a tremendous amount of credibility when we do ask people to do something. We don't waste your time by asking you to come to some half-assed meaningless meeting, so when we do ask you to come to meetings, you know that it is important. Yes? No? Discuss.

I could easily segue into a half-assed meeting we had with Congressman DeFazio, but then that would be negative and that's not me.

Just in Time for the New Season

You Won't Want to Walk on That for at Least a Week

On the list of things you don't want to overhear from the guy laying your new floor, "Damn, this ain't right" has got to be pretty high up there.

There Is Nothing Appropriate About This

Wheels

I Got the Trots

The first paragraph of a small essay about Trotsky from Clive James and Slate:

After being murdered at Stalin's orders, Lev Davidovich Bronstein, alias Leon Trotsky (1879–1940), lived on for decades as the unassailable hero of aesthetically minded progressives who wished to persuade themselves that there could be a vegetarian version of communism. Trotsky could write and orate, he loved women, and he presented enough of a threat to the established Soviet power structure that it should want to track him down to his hiding place in Mexico and rub him out. It followed, or seemed to follow, that Trotsky must have embodied a more human version of the historic force that sacrificed innocent people to egalitarian principle: a version that would sacrifice fewer of them, in a nicer way. Alas, it followed only if the facts were left out.

Read the whole thing, it's pretty good. Even if you don't agree with him, admire the witty cheap shots.

Winter (and Spring) of My Discontent

I just finished "coaching" a great group of 10 year-old girls to a 1-15 record in indoor soccer. It is a testament only to the ability of kids to put all troubles into the immediate past that any of them want to continue playing soccer, but they do.

So I am about to embark on being their spring soccer coach. I think that this group of girls is probably better suited to outdoor play (we are dreadfully slow), but I find out tonight that the fine folks at Kidsports have decided to "promote" the Pterodactyls into the "middle" group of U12 Girls. This means that my fifth grade girls will be taking on almost exclusively 6th grade teams. There will be teams that are dropping down from the upper level, because it spring and "no one" takes it seriously. Kidsports apparently thinks that spring soccer is just a time to screw around, as everyone knows only fall soccer matters.

Except of course, the girls. To put not too fine of a point on it, these girls, "my girls" are about to go out and get ritually slaughtered every weekend. The teams we play will be so much better than some of our girls as to almost make it criminal. The really heart-crushing thing about it for me is that while I will know we are out of our league and will lose every game, struggle to not get humiliated, hear the other teams openly making fun of us, they will not know it. They will go out before every game thinking, hoping they will win this one. And they will be crushed when they lose. Blessedly, they will get over it quickly, but they don't deserve the pain and disappointment they will undoubtedly feel after every game.

Except thinking on it, the really heart-crushing thing is that some of the girls are catching on and they are becoming cynical about it. They will tell the other girls and I will watch these girls, "my girls," lose some of their innocence. They will lose hope. They will lose belief. They will lose confidence. It will happen this spring. On my watch.

Women We've Had

Stole this from the Bellman:

How hot is Mims, exactly?